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7 Ways to Annoy a Flight Attendant

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  • 7 Ways to Annoy a Flight Attendant

    7 Ways to Annoy a Flight Attendant



    Our anonymous flight attendant has worked for a well-known commercial airline for 12 years. She dishes on what irritates her most in passenger behavior.


    http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-...YW50LTYtMi0wOQ--

    1. Bring your pet on the plane and then act like an animal.
    Over the years, I've seen a pet on a passenger's lap, a pet tucked into a seatback pocket, and a pet loose in the aisle (I nearly hit one with my beverage cart). All of this is against federal regulations. People tell me how well-behaved their pet is, but they can't follow the rules themselves! Your pet must stay in its carrier while you're on the plane. Yes, even if you've paid a "pet-in-cabin" fee.


    2. Shove your bag into the first bin you see and then walk to your seat in the back of the plane.
    You think you're clever, I know. You expect to grab your bag on your way out of the plane, but you're selfishly inconveniencing others. I can't lie and say we flight attendants don't take some small satisfaction when we tell you, "We couldn't identify the bag's owner, so we sent it to cargo." It's a security issue, for real. Carry-ons need to stay near their owners! So don't look so shocked when we say, "The signs will direct you to baggage claim. You can pick up your bag there."


    3. Think that because you're on an airplane you're off-duty as a parent.
    Stop expecting us to have spare diapers, formula, medicine, toys, playing cards, or batteries for DVD players or Game Boys. It's an airplane, not a 7-11. Take your kid to the restroom before you board. Leave the dry cereal and Legos at home and bring snacks and toys for your kids that won't make a horrible mess.


    4. Drag on an oversize bag that's too heavy for you to lift by yourself.
    I won't be compensated for any injuries I might sustain if I heft your bag into the overhead compartment for you. (And other passengers shouldn't have to step up and take the risk either.) The guideline is simple: You pack it, you stack it. Try this at home as a test (and this is to you ladies, especially): After you've packed your bag, put on the shoes you plan to wear on the plane and see if you can lift your bag and place it on top of your refrigerator. You can't? Pay the fee and check the bag.


    5. Gripe that you haven't been seated in a roomy exit-row seat.
    The exit rows weren't created as a reward for people who are tall, overweight, or just plain nice. They were designed to help passengers get out of the plane in an emergency. The people seated in an exit row must be able to see and speak clearly, open the emergency door, and help others. I prefer to see uniformed military, firefighters, law-enforcement officers, or off-duty pilots and flight attendants sitting in those seats. While the gate agent may assign exit-row seats first, the flight attendant makes the final determination about who gets to sit in them. And the quality of our choices is one of the frequent concerns of Federal Aviation Administration officials when they audit airlines for safety practices. So please don't complain. I'm just doing my job.


    6. Act like you don't know the meaning of the words "under the seat in front of you."
    Someday I will be muttering "under the seat in front of you" in the old-age home for flight attendants. What is it that you don't understand? To be clear, items should not be stowed behind your calves, under your feet like a footstool, in the open seat next to you, or in your lap. It's under the seat in front of you. And it applies to everything you carry on board. Items stored carelessly can trip others, or dislodge during takeoff and get lost, or inconvenience others. And while I'm on the topic: Please don't wrap your purse (or umbrella strap) around your ankle to keep from forgetting it. What will happen in an emergency, when every second counts and there's no time to disentangle yourself from your precious bag? Will you drag it ball-and-chain-style down the aisle of a burning plane?


    7. Whine about the high price of flying.
    When I hear people complain about coach airfares, I know they're not keeping up with the news. Fares have rarely been cheaper. In recent years, it's not uncommon for you to be able to cross the continent for under $130 each way, with a maximum of one layover. It's a bargain! At that price, you're barely paying for the fuel to get your body there—never mind the cost of shipping your 50 pounds of gear. You're already on the gravy plane. People point to first class ticket holders and want to know why they don't get the same treatment. Wake up folks: You're getting a great deal. If you want even more, pay more!



    I found this rather funny.....
    what ever happens......happens

  • #2
    The 7 ways a FA annoys me

    1) Have the foreign flight attendant with the strongest accent announce the flight safety instructions

    2) Repeatedly ask me to put my seat-back in the upright position for landing when it's clearly broken and won't stay up

    3) Sell all sorts of snacks and drinks yet don't carry any change for my 20

    4) Use there fingers when putting a slice of lemon/lime in my drink

    5) Rearrange/crush my luggage

    6) Try to be a comedian (e.g.- "please be careful when removing your luggage from the overhead bin as shift happens")

    7) Turn down my advances.


    And the 7 ways a FA can please me

    1) Wink at me suggestively

    2) Wear shorter skirts than necessary

    3) Open up her blouse for epic titties

    4) Cleaning my trousers after 'accidentally' spilling water over my crotch

    5) Talk with a sexy voice

    6) Put more alcohol in my drink than strictly necessary

    7) Invite me to the mile high club
    Robin Guess Aviation Historian, Photographer, Web Designer.

    http://www.Jet-Fighters.Net
    http://www.Jet-Liners.Net

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Jet-fighters.Net View Post
      And the 7 ways a FA can please me

      1) Wink at me suggestively

      2) Wear shorter skirts than necessary

      3) Open up her blouse for epic titties

      4) Cleaning my trousers after 'accidentally' spilling water over my crotch

      5) Talk with a sexy voice

      6) Put more alcohol in my drink than strictly necessary

      7) Invite me to the mile high club
      Given what's flying around on domestic U.S. airlines today, I'm not sure any of those are necessarily a good thing. They may have been in the 60s and 70s, when the same flight attendants still flying today were first starting their careers!
      Trump is an idiot!
      Vote Democrats!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Chris Kilroy View Post
        Given what's flying around on domestic U.S. airlines today, I'm not sure any of those are necessarily a good thing. They may have been in the 60s and 70s, when the same flight attendants still flying today were first starting their careers!
        Europe

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Chris Kilroy View Post
          Given what's flying around on domestic U.S. airlines today, I'm not sure any of those are necessarily a good thing. They may have been in the 60s and 70s, when the same flight attendants still flying today were first starting their careers!
          LMAO - Seriously, today I overheard another F/A speaking to two others saying "Man, the glory days of travel are over. Do you remember working with PanAm?" I was mortified when she continued to discuss flying for PanAm during the Lebanese crisis! She looked as if she wore the same make-up ever since.
          Whatever is necessary, is never unwise.

          Comment


          • #6
            [quote=Jet-fighters.Net;516570]The 7 ways a FA annoys me

            1) Have the foreign flight attendant with the strongest accent announce the flight safety instructions

            ...you probably never pay attention to the announcements anyway, so why does it matter who's voice is giving them?

            2) Repeatedly ask me to put my seat-back in the upright position for landing when it's clearly broken and won't stay up

            ...they don't know it's broken unless you tell them.....clearly.

            3) Sell all sorts of snacks and drinks yet don't carry any change for my 20

            ...stop giving them 20's, they're flight attendants, not change machines.

            4) Use there fingers when putting a slice of lemon/lime in my drink

            ...easy, stop asking for lemons/limes.

            5) Rearrange/crush my luggage

            ...REAL easy, place it in the bin correctly and they won't have to.

            6) Try to be a comedian (e.g.- "please be careful when removing your luggage from the overhead bin as shift happens")

            ...believe me, this is more for their entertainment than it is for your's.

            7) Turn down my advances.

            ...if they annoy you so much why would you be hitting on them to start with??

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by cegro27 View Post
              ...you probably never pay attention to the announcements anyway, so why does it matter who's voice is giving them?
              He ought to pay attention to the briefings; most air accidents are survivable.

              Comment


              • #8
                Annoying Fellow Passengers

                There's a lot of discussion about flight attendant etiquette and the passenger, what about fellow passengers?

                I missed my flight back in 2006 from Baltimore to Jacksonville and Southwest Airlines put me on standby for subsequent flights later that afternoon. Though I was supposed to have left Baltimore at 3:15 PM, I departed at 9:30 PM and of course, I had the very last seat in the back of the plane, right in front of the rear lavatory.

                After I situated myself in my seat, the passenger in front of me, a very large man, pushed his seat back as far as possible, literally squeezing me against the lavatory wall. I stand six feet tall, but I'm a very thin, lean guy and require decent legroom - which the rearmost seat did not have. The man sitting in front of me was over 300 pounds, and this man was sweating profusely. The smell of body odor, terrible onion breathe, and the lovely aroma from the lavatory was wonderful. It was a fully loaded plane and no seats were spared.

                Let's just say the moment we arrived at the gate, I ran for the nearest exit and truly appreciated the fresh Floridian breeze.

                Comment


                • #9
                  How to annoy a flight attendant?

                  Keep calling him "Stewardess"
                  KC-135: Passing gas and taking names!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Jet-fighters.Net View Post
                    And the 7 ways a FA can please me

                    1) Wink at me suggestively

                    2) Wear shorter skirts than necessary

                    3) Open up her blouse for epic titties

                    4) Cleaning my trousers after 'accidentally' spilling water over my crotch

                    5) Talk with a sexy voice

                    6) Put more alcohol in my drink than strictly necessary

                    7) Invite me to the mile high club
                    I'm a F/A and that's the 7 things why some passenger annoy me ... take my fellow female co-workers as prostitutes.


                    Anyway, i have tons and tons of reasons to complain about passenger behaviour.. and some passengers have as many reasons to complain about F/A behaviour... but first of all, you paid for a seat from a point A to a point B, and the F/A are here for your safety first of all! not to serve your dry untasty cakes and microscopic amount of Coke..
                    Last edited by Chaudard; 2009-06-15, 14:20.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Chaudard View Post
                      I'm a F/A and that's the 7 things why some passenger annoy me ... take my fellow female co-workers as prostitutes.


                      Anyway, i have tons and tons of reasons to complain about passenger behaviour.. and some passengers have as many reasons to complain about F/A behaviour... but first of all, you paid for a seat from a point A to a point B, and the F/A are here for your safety first of all! not to serve your dry untasty cakes and microscopic amount of Coke..
                      Should one not expect that if they pay for Business class or above?
                      "And suddenly I realized that I was no longer driving the car consciously. I was driving it by a kind of instinct, only I was in a different dimension." Senna, Ayrton.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by KitFrench View Post
                        Should one not expect that if they pay for Business class or above?

                        Then if you pay for business, you should'nt have to give 20's, seen an F/A put lemon in your drink with he's fingers, and eat dry cakes

                        You got what you pay for.. if you pay for service you got service. If you pay a rayanair ticket (with all the scum around ) you get a bus ticket not a plane.

                        It's like when you go to MacDonald's .. if you pay for a big mac, you got a big mac, not a beautiful Coq au Vin, or a Blanquette de Veau a l'ancienne ( or other fancy cuisine name )

                        As a professional, who like it's job a looot, i give the same service and don't spit on the one that pay cheap ticket .. they are all humans, going from a point A to B that want to spend their time waiting sited in a small, busy, full of stranger, noisy, smelly place, in the best conditions possible. The one paying extra, have extra .. that's material and that's all
                        Last edited by Chaudard; 2009-06-15, 15:20.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Sometimes, just showing up and sitting in your seat is enough to annoy a F/A....

                          But, I've met far more nice F/A than those who seemed annoyed for you just being there.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Chaudard View Post
                            Then if you pay for business, you should'nt have to give 20's, seen an F/A put lemon in your drink with he's fingers, and eat dry cakes

                            You got what you pay for.. if you pay for service you got service. If you pay a rayanair ticket (with all the scum around ) you get a bus ticket not a plane.

                            It's like when you go to MacDonald's .. if you pay for a big mac, you got a big mac, not a beautiful Coq au Vin, or a Blanquette de Veau a l'ancienne ( or other fancy cuisine name )

                            As a professional, who like it's job a looot, i give the same service and don't spit on the one that pay cheap ticket .. they are all humans, going from a point A to B that want to spend their time waiting sited in a small, busy, full of stranger, noisy, smelly place, in the best conditions possible. The one paying extra, have extra .. that's material and that's all
                            Haha Touché.
                            "And suddenly I realized that I was no longer driving the car consciously. I was driving it by a kind of instinct, only I was in a different dimension." Senna, Ayrton.

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