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That Wednesday progressed like any other. Busy 10 hour day of meetings and workshops through clenched teeth and false smiles. Argh, if only I had taken the day off!! Ever increasing glances at the clock did not miraculously speed me through the afternoon. If only I had the tardis to help me break out of this monotony and throw me 3 hours forward. Alas, my wanton wish did not come to pass.
We were only half way through a partnership discussion when a light vibration was felt in my front pocket. Furtive looks in my direction only made me feel even more conscious. I slowly reached in and pulled out my mobile. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the words “Time to Piss Off, Pack Up and 7 hours to TO” danced across the screen.
Without a second’s hesitation I closed my folio, consolidated my collateral and swiftly stood up. Cognisant that all eyes were now focused on me, I raised my right hand, reminiscent of her royal majesty’s haughty wave, bid my farewell, turned round and rushed out the closest door. Exit…stage left…heeeeeeeeeee’s gone!!
The drive home flew by in an instant and before I knew it, was back in my lounge cross checking everything was packed. Passports…tick. Tickets…tick. Digital camera and video camera…tick. Toiletries…tick. Suit…tick. PJs…tick. Clothes…tick. Undies…tick. Time to kick back and have fun…tick. Down a beer…bloody brilliant…tick.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t just yet leave responsibility behind. After a one hour replenishment process of water and food for my dog, poultry, birds, fish and lizards, before the handover to my avian-phobic mate (thanks Donella, you were a lifesaver – and no, there has not been a single incident of ‘death by budgie attack’ as yet, and yes, if it’s going to happen to anyone it’ll happen to you…sigh).
Dad and my brother, Kit, arrived right on time. “We brought Thai and beers!!” My brother’s enthusiasm was more directed towards the fact that he didn’t have to return to work for a full month, than our impending flight. “If I never have to dispense another script again it’ll be too soon.”
Kit has issues with travelling. The problem is that. he can’t. Irrespective of the mode of transport, he will be sensitive to it. Bus, train, plane, boat, anything that moves between origin and destination he would have thrown up in it. Hence, his carryon bag was filled to the brim with Travelcalm and Rid (insect repellent infused with DEET to keep the mozzies at bay).
Even though my partner and I had been together nearing five years (and yet to have a genuine row), this Malaysian/Singapore extravaganza was our first official medium haul holiday together. One full month within strangling distance of one another, a true compatibility test if there ever was one.
The conversations around the dining table focused on our transit at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA), the connecting flight to Penang and our initial 24 hours in south east asia. Dad regurgitated wary advice about illegal taxis, bottled water and exchange rates. Ever the conversationalist.
Electronic timers on, gas heater off, all doors and windows locked. All entry vectors checked and cross checked and OK for go roger wilco. Scarily, I said that out loud. The looks I received proved that I should keep my thoughts to myself.
Dad drove us to Melbourne Tullamarine International Airport in record time…1 hour and 58 minutes. A real pity that the record had to be set for the longest drive. * shrug * Dad has an aversion to Citylink (Melbourne’s freeway toll system) and literally drove around the city so as to bypass the majority of the tolls. Even then, the drive should only have taken 1 – 1.5 hours, but had to stop the car (on the side of the freeway) to have a 25 minutes conversation with Hutchison Communications to resolve an issue re: his inoperative 3G phone.
We finally arrived at the airport and dad drove up the ramp to International Departures and dropped us off at the curb. Before all our luggage had been piled onto the trolley, dad’s car had disappeared into the gloom of Melbourne’s winter. Interesting that he was conservative with his driving whilst we were all in the car, but drove off like a hoon after. Go figure.
We approached the MAS check-in desk and were greeted by a disinterested attendant. “Tickets and passports!” he blurted at us. “And good evening to you too. You been busy then?” That was all that was needed to break the ice. He apologised and made light conversation about the day he had. Perhaps a little unprofessional to most, but I found it most endearing and pleasant. From the point of queuing to receiving our tickets and passes, took a little over 10 minutes. Not too bad considering there were two old birds ahead of us. Surprised that we’re still not standing there.
My brother headed disapprovingly out into the cold Melbourne night with us for our final cigarettes before the 7.5 hour flight to Malaysia. The freezing wind made it unbearable but I jibed that by the next morning, we would not be complaining about the cold.
Making our way though customs/immigration was quick and painless. All our carryon luggage and personal effects went through the x-ray machine without any problem. Me, on the other hand, had to practically disrobe as we could not identify what was making the metal detector shrill. Finally after 5 minutes of error-determination, the guard asked to frisk me. “No problem here.” We had a good laugh about it, with some of the female attendants jokingly lining for their turn.
Browsing through Melbourne’s air-side stores proved a failing as prices still remained high. Infact, most electronics were dearer than the corporate discounts I receive with land-side retailers. As I am currently involved in some consulting work for an Australian based duty free and newsagency chain, am fully aware of the high margins placed by like stores. I did have to buy a carton of Dunhill blues, as I’ve found the American and English tobacco of international cigarettes not to my liking.
Upon reaching the lounge, we found that a Thai Airlines flight had just completed boarding procedures and was starting pushback. Our MAS flight was just starting to take passengers even though our departure time was supposedly before TGs. The boarding process appeared to be
in complete disarray.
Tickets were cross-referenced with passports as all pax piled into a small cordoned off section. An announcement came over the PA system to allow the elderly and PAX with children to board first, however, nothing was mentioned about boarding premium passengers.
Ten minutes after the initial load of PAX, a general announcement was made to allow all other passengers to board the aircraft. Huhn? Did I hear right, all PAX to board at once? As we were seated towards the pointy end of the plane, we would have to all rush to have our things stored away and get seated before we get trampled on by the migration of PAX heading south. * sigh * Guess I am used to the organised boarding standards of MAS and SIA.
“Good evening Mr XXX. I apologise for not meeting you. As you saw, I couldn’t get to you. Haha. What would you like for a pre-departure drink?” I ordered my favourite MAS non-alcoholic drink, “I’ll have a pink guava juice, thanks.” If you ever have the opportunity to fly premium class with MAS (possibly the most affordable in the top tier airlines), you have to try this beverage. Taste bud tantalisingly superb. I am salivating just thinking about it now. Very reminiscent of a guava breezer (funny that).
Pushback was delayed by 30 minutes, with very little interaction and updates from the flight crew. As I was heading off on my first extended holiday in over 4 years, I wasn’t particularly perturbed by the delay. Infact, I was hoping that it would mean a later arrival in KLIA as we had a very late connecting flight to Penang. Finally we taxied to the runway and after a thunderous 30 seconds, were closer to the ether than Icarus ever managed.
As I had been at the office since seven that morning, I was physically and mentally exhausted. I asked the flight attendant not to disturb me for any meal service. After which I passed out for a good 6-7 hours. To think about it, the only reason I woke up was the fact that I had to return my seat to the upright position for landing!! I couldn’t believe that I had literally slept through the ENTIRE flight. It didn’t bother me as I was fully refreshed. Just regretted missing out on the wonderful MAS food and service. However, from what Mark and Kit told me, the food and service wasn’t watered down but wasn’t exceptional either.
Even though our departure was delayed by 45 minutes, we landed on time at an empty KLIA. Taxi to the gate was a lengthy process but, once again, wasn’t really causing me too much grief. The general sensation was one of relief and gratitude to be out of freezing Melbourne.
First class passengers exited first, followed by the rest of us plebs in business class. Before we even neared the aircraft’s doors, I could feel the humidity and heat reaching out towards me. Akin to the deadly lure of a Siren’s call, it was intoxicating, yet oddly inviting.
Despite only a one minute walk off the plane, it was a welcome relief to enter the air-conditioned main terminal. * sigh * How are we going to cope with the heat once we’re out of the airport?! A concern which I buried as we still had a further four hours before touching down in Penang.
My first port of call was to the closest male facilities. A compliment to the KLIA cleaning and maintenance department for keeping a clean ship. A note to all who have never visited Malaysia, be wary of the more traditional ‘Malaysian’ toilets (prevalent in even the newest of facilities). Effectively a porcelain hole in the ground, requiring very strong thigh muscles in order to sustain a stable perch/squat over the hole. Also another point to note is the ambiguous hose in all cubicles. What is this, say you? Well, not to frighten or disgust our more sensitive readers, these are used by the malays in lieu of toilet paper (correct me if I am wrong).
Next on my list of priorities was to find a smoking area/room. Unlike many European airports where smoking areas merely entail a cordoned off area, KLIA has dedicated smoking rooms equipped with commercial grade air filters. My brother waited outside as Mark and I puffed down a couple more cigarettes.
By then we had another two hours before our connecting flight to Penang. Very few stores were open at that time of the morning, so had no choice but to while away our time at the Harrods coffee house. Possibly the most expensive coffee I’ve had in a very long time. Is it just me, but anyone else find the concept of powdered milk a little unappealing?
To cut a long story short (too late I guess), time flew by and were waiting at the gate to board our flight to Penang Bayan Lepas International Airport. It looked like an 85% load on this short 55 minute flight. Boarding was swift but no advance boarding for premium PAX again. Luckily it was only on a baby boeing, and being seated at the front, had no issues.
Had the pink guava juice for my pre-departure drink again. Mark and Kit are also now addicted to this sweet nectar, so all three of us continually asked for refills. I even commented that it may be easier on them if they just left the jug with us.
Pushback and take off was on time. Upon reaching cruising altitude, the seat belt signs pinged off and the flight attendants kicked into action. A light mauve cloth was placed on each table along with silver cutlery. The flight attendants filtered row by row, asking whether we wanted hot savouries. Bloody oath we do!!
A bowl of fresh fruits (honeydew, watermelon, couple of grapes and papaya) and a plate of hot savouries (special fish balls, buffalo wing, some sort of pie and a pastry) was then handed to us. It just hit the spot, if not a little oily. Not a bad in-flight service considering Y PAX didn’t even get a beverage. Well, not that we were aware of anyway as the curtains were fully extended .
Decent was felt halfway through my meal, and only a further 10 minutes before landing after I topped off the fruit salad and guava juice. As the clouds parted and the smog took over, I knew we were nearing land. Before long I saw the lush greenery of the Malaysian jungle. What a site! I never tire of returning to Penang, an island with a superb blending of nature, industrialisation, commercialisation, urbanisation, modernisation and ‘gastronomiclisation’.
Landing was smooth and unspectacular. The journey to the terminal would have to be one of the longest taxi for a regional airport of its size. At this stage, I just wanted to get out and really stretch my legs, so was slightly anxious for this segment to end. We parked next to another company plane and was in the main terminal within 10 minutes.
Half expecting our luggage not to have made the connecting flight, I was taken back when the first three bags off the conveyor belt had our ugly Secure Sentinel plastic tags and fluorescent pink ribbons. We were off the plane and landside within 25 minutes. Slow by some standards but compared to Melbourne customs, was incredibly quick.
We were met at the airport by some friends and taken out to lunch. Unfortunately, Malaysians don’t seem to understand, “Not Hungry”, “I’m stuffed/full”, “No more”, “STOP!!!!!”. My idea of a simple lunch after a long flight does not incorporate a 5 course meal. God love them.
After lunch, we were dropped off at “The Gurney Hotel”. A fabulous hotel on Gurney Drive, with sweeping views of the ocean and surroundings. We had a two room suite, as we were expecting my sister and mother to arrive in a day.
After a cool shower and a couple more smokes, Mark and I decided to head down to the Gurney Plaza, a shopping arcade down the road from our hotel. At the hotel’s taxi stand, we paid RM8 (approx. AUS$3) to get down to the shopping centre. Gurney Plaza was identical to Melbourne’s own Chadstone Shopping Centre. Very clean, very new and very western. Popping into the local grocery store, we bought a dozen bags of local snacks and crisps and half a dozen bottles of mineral water. Needing a caffeine fix, we propped ourselves at Starbucks and ordered two large mocha crushed ice specials. Ahhhh, that was the life. First day of our month long holiday, with no responsibilities, cold coffee and a smoke in one hand. Absolutely brilliant.
I haggled the taxi ride back to the hotel down to RM8 as the driver wanted to charge us RM12!! My arse he will. One aspect of Malaysian taxis which I find baffling is they always appear to be in a constant state of disrepair, yet their economy and efficiency remains unsurpassed.
Back at the hotel, we gorged ourselves on Malaysian twisties, freeky fries, bugles, Indonesian layer cake, coconut and pandan sponge cake.
Obviously we didn’t venture forth for dinner that evening. We took advantage of the pool at dusk and did several laps before we all collapsed for the night.
Woke up early and headed downstairs for breakfast. What a spread!! A full complement of Chinese, Malay, Nonya (sp?), Western, continental, etc. It was a gastronomic feast for the gut. For someone who only has three pieces of toast every morning smothered in butter and vegemite, this was a welcome relief. Perhaps a difficult concept for aussies to understand is having a full cooked meal for breakfast. I’m not just talking about the humble English/American eggs, bacon and tomatoes. I am talking about hokkien noodles, nasi lemak, curry laksa, steak, etc. By the time we return home, I will surely need two golden club seats to cope with my girth (believe it or not, despite my increased consumption frequency and quantity, I actually LOST weight, go figure).
Later that morning, both my sister and mother arrived from Australia. They described their flight in detail as they flew in coach. Argh, couldn’t imagine anything worse. I have a standard set of protocols, in regards to flying, which I adhere to. Any flight less than 4 hours, I am more than content to fly in economy. Between 4 – 9 hours, I will fly business class. Any segment greater or equal to 10 hours has to be in first class. The expense may be far greater than the rest of the holiday, but at least I fly in comfort.
Alas, none of the others in my family (Mark included) appreciate my points of view and are happy to fly, yikes, economy. In fact, Mark recently returned from a visit to Ireland in Economy, in Lufthansa no less!!
We spent the majority of the following 5 days visiting the local tourist attractions (Penang botanical gardens, Penang Hill, Burmese Temple, Thai Temple, Buddhist Temple – Kek Lok Si – an absolute must, etc) and shopping (Gurney Plaza, Komtar, Bukit Jambul, etc). I won’t list everything we’ve visited as I fear this report has already blown out into a feature novel. Secondly, I would like to apologise for my spelling and grammatical errors. No time to check it with a fine tooth comb.
Anyway, fast forward 5 days. We packed everything and loaded ourselves into a taxi van. We were dropped off at the ferry terminal (only 10 minute drive from Gurney Drive) and made our way to the departure point. It is free to take the ferry from Penang Island back to the mainland but costs 80sen (approx AUS$0.30) to return. The ride across was slow and laboured but very scenic. We loved every part of it. Even saw some local wildlife. Mum screamed as something jumped onto her bag and hid under the seat in-front of her. She couldn’t describe the creature, but vaguely recalled it looking like something “real scary”. We all saw a part of the creature sticking out from under the seat. We weren’t sure what part of the body it was (as the majority of it was still hiding under the seat). It was very thin and long, moved and curved around in very fluid movements, coloured segments of black and white (similar to the ugly maggies).
With the excitement of the day over, we left the ferry with fond memories of the ‘real scary’ creature and made our way to the Butterworth Train Station. Strategically situated next to the ferry terminal all we had to do was follow the path labelled ‘Train Station’. We had already pre-purchased our one way first class cabin tickets from Penang to KL. Our estimated time of arrival was documented at 7am the next day, which would have given us ample time to get to KLIA for our Air Asia flight to Kuching.
Lady luck had it in for us that evening. At 8:30pm, our 9pm departure train had yet to arrive. No delay announcements or updates were provided by the station. Not excessively perturbed, we waited another hour before the first announcement was relayed over the PA. Unfortunately, the system was not functioning properly as we could not comprehend a word which was muttered. Luckily for us, I thought I heard the words “11pm”. Incredibly alarmed, I approached the front desk and enquired what had just been announced. It appeared that the train was delayed at its point of origin (Thailand) and was not going to get in till 11pm!!!
Our non-refundable Air Asia tickets required us to check in no later than 9:30am. With an 11pm departure from Butterworth meant that we would get into KL too late. At this stage, Mum was near hysterical (but still dignified – mum wouldn’t have it any other way) and organised for the ticket agent to re-imburse our tickets. This process took over 45 minutes as the head office refused to refund all five tickets. It worked out for the best as a policeman came into the office to enquire what was going on. After I explained the conundrum to him, he flicked to civil-duty mode and sorted everything out. He was even intuitive enough and contacted a bus company (which was only 5 minutes walk across the road) and organised five seats for us on a super-VIP bus to KL.
Had it not been for our large party, I would not have dared to wait at that bus stop. If you could imagine the absolute dodgiest/least reputable area in your township, at 10 -11 at night, then you’d be near the conditions we had to wait in. Our bus didn’t leave till midnight so had a very lengthy wait for the bus to arrive. A plus was that it arrived on time and very comfortable. Good 50” seat pitch with relatively good recline. The seats were incrementally better than any economy airline seats.
This midnight bus ride was going to take six hours, meaning that we would have gotten into KL at 6am. Once again, murphy’s law reared its head. All but I had fallen asleep as I just can’t fully relax unless I have someone walking up and down the walkway refilling my pink guava juice. A few hours into the journey, I did shut my eyes for a few moments. However, I was shocked to find KL’s empty roads when I opened them moments later. We had arrived 3 hours ahead of our schedule.
To be continue...
PS: Photos can be provided if you are interested.
We were only half way through a partnership discussion when a light vibration was felt in my front pocket. Furtive looks in my direction only made me feel even more conscious. I slowly reached in and pulled out my mobile. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the words “Time to Piss Off, Pack Up and 7 hours to TO” danced across the screen.
Without a second’s hesitation I closed my folio, consolidated my collateral and swiftly stood up. Cognisant that all eyes were now focused on me, I raised my right hand, reminiscent of her royal majesty’s haughty wave, bid my farewell, turned round and rushed out the closest door. Exit…stage left…heeeeeeeeeee’s gone!!
The drive home flew by in an instant and before I knew it, was back in my lounge cross checking everything was packed. Passports…tick. Tickets…tick. Digital camera and video camera…tick. Toiletries…tick. Suit…tick. PJs…tick. Clothes…tick. Undies…tick. Time to kick back and have fun…tick. Down a beer…bloody brilliant…tick.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t just yet leave responsibility behind. After a one hour replenishment process of water and food for my dog, poultry, birds, fish and lizards, before the handover to my avian-phobic mate (thanks Donella, you were a lifesaver – and no, there has not been a single incident of ‘death by budgie attack’ as yet, and yes, if it’s going to happen to anyone it’ll happen to you…sigh).
Dad and my brother, Kit, arrived right on time. “We brought Thai and beers!!” My brother’s enthusiasm was more directed towards the fact that he didn’t have to return to work for a full month, than our impending flight. “If I never have to dispense another script again it’ll be too soon.”
Kit has issues with travelling. The problem is that. he can’t. Irrespective of the mode of transport, he will be sensitive to it. Bus, train, plane, boat, anything that moves between origin and destination he would have thrown up in it. Hence, his carryon bag was filled to the brim with Travelcalm and Rid (insect repellent infused with DEET to keep the mozzies at bay).
Even though my partner and I had been together nearing five years (and yet to have a genuine row), this Malaysian/Singapore extravaganza was our first official medium haul holiday together. One full month within strangling distance of one another, a true compatibility test if there ever was one.
The conversations around the dining table focused on our transit at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA), the connecting flight to Penang and our initial 24 hours in south east asia. Dad regurgitated wary advice about illegal taxis, bottled water and exchange rates. Ever the conversationalist.
Electronic timers on, gas heater off, all doors and windows locked. All entry vectors checked and cross checked and OK for go roger wilco. Scarily, I said that out loud. The looks I received proved that I should keep my thoughts to myself.
Dad drove us to Melbourne Tullamarine International Airport in record time…1 hour and 58 minutes. A real pity that the record had to be set for the longest drive. * shrug * Dad has an aversion to Citylink (Melbourne’s freeway toll system) and literally drove around the city so as to bypass the majority of the tolls. Even then, the drive should only have taken 1 – 1.5 hours, but had to stop the car (on the side of the freeway) to have a 25 minutes conversation with Hutchison Communications to resolve an issue re: his inoperative 3G phone.
We finally arrived at the airport and dad drove up the ramp to International Departures and dropped us off at the curb. Before all our luggage had been piled onto the trolley, dad’s car had disappeared into the gloom of Melbourne’s winter. Interesting that he was conservative with his driving whilst we were all in the car, but drove off like a hoon after. Go figure.
We approached the MAS check-in desk and were greeted by a disinterested attendant. “Tickets and passports!” he blurted at us. “And good evening to you too. You been busy then?” That was all that was needed to break the ice. He apologised and made light conversation about the day he had. Perhaps a little unprofessional to most, but I found it most endearing and pleasant. From the point of queuing to receiving our tickets and passes, took a little over 10 minutes. Not too bad considering there were two old birds ahead of us. Surprised that we’re still not standing there.
My brother headed disapprovingly out into the cold Melbourne night with us for our final cigarettes before the 7.5 hour flight to Malaysia. The freezing wind made it unbearable but I jibed that by the next morning, we would not be complaining about the cold.
Making our way though customs/immigration was quick and painless. All our carryon luggage and personal effects went through the x-ray machine without any problem. Me, on the other hand, had to practically disrobe as we could not identify what was making the metal detector shrill. Finally after 5 minutes of error-determination, the guard asked to frisk me. “No problem here.” We had a good laugh about it, with some of the female attendants jokingly lining for their turn.
Browsing through Melbourne’s air-side stores proved a failing as prices still remained high. Infact, most electronics were dearer than the corporate discounts I receive with land-side retailers. As I am currently involved in some consulting work for an Australian based duty free and newsagency chain, am fully aware of the high margins placed by like stores. I did have to buy a carton of Dunhill blues, as I’ve found the American and English tobacco of international cigarettes not to my liking.
Upon reaching the lounge, we found that a Thai Airlines flight had just completed boarding procedures and was starting pushback. Our MAS flight was just starting to take passengers even though our departure time was supposedly before TGs. The boarding process appeared to be
in complete disarray.
Tickets were cross-referenced with passports as all pax piled into a small cordoned off section. An announcement came over the PA system to allow the elderly and PAX with children to board first, however, nothing was mentioned about boarding premium passengers.
Ten minutes after the initial load of PAX, a general announcement was made to allow all other passengers to board the aircraft. Huhn? Did I hear right, all PAX to board at once? As we were seated towards the pointy end of the plane, we would have to all rush to have our things stored away and get seated before we get trampled on by the migration of PAX heading south. * sigh * Guess I am used to the organised boarding standards of MAS and SIA.
“Good evening Mr XXX. I apologise for not meeting you. As you saw, I couldn’t get to you. Haha. What would you like for a pre-departure drink?” I ordered my favourite MAS non-alcoholic drink, “I’ll have a pink guava juice, thanks.” If you ever have the opportunity to fly premium class with MAS (possibly the most affordable in the top tier airlines), you have to try this beverage. Taste bud tantalisingly superb. I am salivating just thinking about it now. Very reminiscent of a guava breezer (funny that).
Pushback was delayed by 30 minutes, with very little interaction and updates from the flight crew. As I was heading off on my first extended holiday in over 4 years, I wasn’t particularly perturbed by the delay. Infact, I was hoping that it would mean a later arrival in KLIA as we had a very late connecting flight to Penang. Finally we taxied to the runway and after a thunderous 30 seconds, were closer to the ether than Icarus ever managed.
As I had been at the office since seven that morning, I was physically and mentally exhausted. I asked the flight attendant not to disturb me for any meal service. After which I passed out for a good 6-7 hours. To think about it, the only reason I woke up was the fact that I had to return my seat to the upright position for landing!! I couldn’t believe that I had literally slept through the ENTIRE flight. It didn’t bother me as I was fully refreshed. Just regretted missing out on the wonderful MAS food and service. However, from what Mark and Kit told me, the food and service wasn’t watered down but wasn’t exceptional either.
Even though our departure was delayed by 45 minutes, we landed on time at an empty KLIA. Taxi to the gate was a lengthy process but, once again, wasn’t really causing me too much grief. The general sensation was one of relief and gratitude to be out of freezing Melbourne.
First class passengers exited first, followed by the rest of us plebs in business class. Before we even neared the aircraft’s doors, I could feel the humidity and heat reaching out towards me. Akin to the deadly lure of a Siren’s call, it was intoxicating, yet oddly inviting.
Despite only a one minute walk off the plane, it was a welcome relief to enter the air-conditioned main terminal. * sigh * How are we going to cope with the heat once we’re out of the airport?! A concern which I buried as we still had a further four hours before touching down in Penang.
My first port of call was to the closest male facilities. A compliment to the KLIA cleaning and maintenance department for keeping a clean ship. A note to all who have never visited Malaysia, be wary of the more traditional ‘Malaysian’ toilets (prevalent in even the newest of facilities). Effectively a porcelain hole in the ground, requiring very strong thigh muscles in order to sustain a stable perch/squat over the hole. Also another point to note is the ambiguous hose in all cubicles. What is this, say you? Well, not to frighten or disgust our more sensitive readers, these are used by the malays in lieu of toilet paper (correct me if I am wrong).
Next on my list of priorities was to find a smoking area/room. Unlike many European airports where smoking areas merely entail a cordoned off area, KLIA has dedicated smoking rooms equipped with commercial grade air filters. My brother waited outside as Mark and I puffed down a couple more cigarettes.
By then we had another two hours before our connecting flight to Penang. Very few stores were open at that time of the morning, so had no choice but to while away our time at the Harrods coffee house. Possibly the most expensive coffee I’ve had in a very long time. Is it just me, but anyone else find the concept of powdered milk a little unappealing?
To cut a long story short (too late I guess), time flew by and were waiting at the gate to board our flight to Penang Bayan Lepas International Airport. It looked like an 85% load on this short 55 minute flight. Boarding was swift but no advance boarding for premium PAX again. Luckily it was only on a baby boeing, and being seated at the front, had no issues.
Had the pink guava juice for my pre-departure drink again. Mark and Kit are also now addicted to this sweet nectar, so all three of us continually asked for refills. I even commented that it may be easier on them if they just left the jug with us.
Pushback and take off was on time. Upon reaching cruising altitude, the seat belt signs pinged off and the flight attendants kicked into action. A light mauve cloth was placed on each table along with silver cutlery. The flight attendants filtered row by row, asking whether we wanted hot savouries. Bloody oath we do!!
A bowl of fresh fruits (honeydew, watermelon, couple of grapes and papaya) and a plate of hot savouries (special fish balls, buffalo wing, some sort of pie and a pastry) was then handed to us. It just hit the spot, if not a little oily. Not a bad in-flight service considering Y PAX didn’t even get a beverage. Well, not that we were aware of anyway as the curtains were fully extended .
Decent was felt halfway through my meal, and only a further 10 minutes before landing after I topped off the fruit salad and guava juice. As the clouds parted and the smog took over, I knew we were nearing land. Before long I saw the lush greenery of the Malaysian jungle. What a site! I never tire of returning to Penang, an island with a superb blending of nature, industrialisation, commercialisation, urbanisation, modernisation and ‘gastronomiclisation’.
Landing was smooth and unspectacular. The journey to the terminal would have to be one of the longest taxi for a regional airport of its size. At this stage, I just wanted to get out and really stretch my legs, so was slightly anxious for this segment to end. We parked next to another company plane and was in the main terminal within 10 minutes.
Half expecting our luggage not to have made the connecting flight, I was taken back when the first three bags off the conveyor belt had our ugly Secure Sentinel plastic tags and fluorescent pink ribbons. We were off the plane and landside within 25 minutes. Slow by some standards but compared to Melbourne customs, was incredibly quick.
We were met at the airport by some friends and taken out to lunch. Unfortunately, Malaysians don’t seem to understand, “Not Hungry”, “I’m stuffed/full”, “No more”, “STOP!!!!!”. My idea of a simple lunch after a long flight does not incorporate a 5 course meal. God love them.
After lunch, we were dropped off at “The Gurney Hotel”. A fabulous hotel on Gurney Drive, with sweeping views of the ocean and surroundings. We had a two room suite, as we were expecting my sister and mother to arrive in a day.
After a cool shower and a couple more smokes, Mark and I decided to head down to the Gurney Plaza, a shopping arcade down the road from our hotel. At the hotel’s taxi stand, we paid RM8 (approx. AUS$3) to get down to the shopping centre. Gurney Plaza was identical to Melbourne’s own Chadstone Shopping Centre. Very clean, very new and very western. Popping into the local grocery store, we bought a dozen bags of local snacks and crisps and half a dozen bottles of mineral water. Needing a caffeine fix, we propped ourselves at Starbucks and ordered two large mocha crushed ice specials. Ahhhh, that was the life. First day of our month long holiday, with no responsibilities, cold coffee and a smoke in one hand. Absolutely brilliant.
I haggled the taxi ride back to the hotel down to RM8 as the driver wanted to charge us RM12!! My arse he will. One aspect of Malaysian taxis which I find baffling is they always appear to be in a constant state of disrepair, yet their economy and efficiency remains unsurpassed.
Back at the hotel, we gorged ourselves on Malaysian twisties, freeky fries, bugles, Indonesian layer cake, coconut and pandan sponge cake.
Obviously we didn’t venture forth for dinner that evening. We took advantage of the pool at dusk and did several laps before we all collapsed for the night.
Woke up early and headed downstairs for breakfast. What a spread!! A full complement of Chinese, Malay, Nonya (sp?), Western, continental, etc. It was a gastronomic feast for the gut. For someone who only has three pieces of toast every morning smothered in butter and vegemite, this was a welcome relief. Perhaps a difficult concept for aussies to understand is having a full cooked meal for breakfast. I’m not just talking about the humble English/American eggs, bacon and tomatoes. I am talking about hokkien noodles, nasi lemak, curry laksa, steak, etc. By the time we return home, I will surely need two golden club seats to cope with my girth (believe it or not, despite my increased consumption frequency and quantity, I actually LOST weight, go figure).
Later that morning, both my sister and mother arrived from Australia. They described their flight in detail as they flew in coach. Argh, couldn’t imagine anything worse. I have a standard set of protocols, in regards to flying, which I adhere to. Any flight less than 4 hours, I am more than content to fly in economy. Between 4 – 9 hours, I will fly business class. Any segment greater or equal to 10 hours has to be in first class. The expense may be far greater than the rest of the holiday, but at least I fly in comfort.
Alas, none of the others in my family (Mark included) appreciate my points of view and are happy to fly, yikes, economy. In fact, Mark recently returned from a visit to Ireland in Economy, in Lufthansa no less!!
We spent the majority of the following 5 days visiting the local tourist attractions (Penang botanical gardens, Penang Hill, Burmese Temple, Thai Temple, Buddhist Temple – Kek Lok Si – an absolute must, etc) and shopping (Gurney Plaza, Komtar, Bukit Jambul, etc). I won’t list everything we’ve visited as I fear this report has already blown out into a feature novel. Secondly, I would like to apologise for my spelling and grammatical errors. No time to check it with a fine tooth comb.
Anyway, fast forward 5 days. We packed everything and loaded ourselves into a taxi van. We were dropped off at the ferry terminal (only 10 minute drive from Gurney Drive) and made our way to the departure point. It is free to take the ferry from Penang Island back to the mainland but costs 80sen (approx AUS$0.30) to return. The ride across was slow and laboured but very scenic. We loved every part of it. Even saw some local wildlife. Mum screamed as something jumped onto her bag and hid under the seat in-front of her. She couldn’t describe the creature, but vaguely recalled it looking like something “real scary”. We all saw a part of the creature sticking out from under the seat. We weren’t sure what part of the body it was (as the majority of it was still hiding under the seat). It was very thin and long, moved and curved around in very fluid movements, coloured segments of black and white (similar to the ugly maggies).
With the excitement of the day over, we left the ferry with fond memories of the ‘real scary’ creature and made our way to the Butterworth Train Station. Strategically situated next to the ferry terminal all we had to do was follow the path labelled ‘Train Station’. We had already pre-purchased our one way first class cabin tickets from Penang to KL. Our estimated time of arrival was documented at 7am the next day, which would have given us ample time to get to KLIA for our Air Asia flight to Kuching.
Lady luck had it in for us that evening. At 8:30pm, our 9pm departure train had yet to arrive. No delay announcements or updates were provided by the station. Not excessively perturbed, we waited another hour before the first announcement was relayed over the PA. Unfortunately, the system was not functioning properly as we could not comprehend a word which was muttered. Luckily for us, I thought I heard the words “11pm”. Incredibly alarmed, I approached the front desk and enquired what had just been announced. It appeared that the train was delayed at its point of origin (Thailand) and was not going to get in till 11pm!!!
Our non-refundable Air Asia tickets required us to check in no later than 9:30am. With an 11pm departure from Butterworth meant that we would get into KL too late. At this stage, Mum was near hysterical (but still dignified – mum wouldn’t have it any other way) and organised for the ticket agent to re-imburse our tickets. This process took over 45 minutes as the head office refused to refund all five tickets. It worked out for the best as a policeman came into the office to enquire what was going on. After I explained the conundrum to him, he flicked to civil-duty mode and sorted everything out. He was even intuitive enough and contacted a bus company (which was only 5 minutes walk across the road) and organised five seats for us on a super-VIP bus to KL.
Had it not been for our large party, I would not have dared to wait at that bus stop. If you could imagine the absolute dodgiest/least reputable area in your township, at 10 -11 at night, then you’d be near the conditions we had to wait in. Our bus didn’t leave till midnight so had a very lengthy wait for the bus to arrive. A plus was that it arrived on time and very comfortable. Good 50” seat pitch with relatively good recline. The seats were incrementally better than any economy airline seats.
This midnight bus ride was going to take six hours, meaning that we would have gotten into KL at 6am. Once again, murphy’s law reared its head. All but I had fallen asleep as I just can’t fully relax unless I have someone walking up and down the walkway refilling my pink guava juice. A few hours into the journey, I did shut my eyes for a few moments. However, I was shocked to find KL’s empty roads when I opened them moments later. We had arrived 3 hours ahead of our schedule.
To be continue...
PS: Photos can be provided if you are interested.
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And photos of the aircrafts you were on, maybe even some photos from the airportsif you have any would be lovely 
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