If airplanes could talk...

[ErwinS]

I've got the looks of a sexy woman but like most russian girls....I smoke to much....."
Iljushin IL-18


ErwinS

My photos on
JPNet

[uy707]

Handle me with extreme care ! My balance puts me on a tight rope and above all don't EVER forget my sandbags/water ballasts !!!!! Always keep in mind I am touchy whichever the mood ....
Bae ATP

Alain

[Legend_Airlines]

"Watch me shoot my load"

- F/A-18 Hornet

[uy707]

Choose your size but don't make me wrong !!!
DC.8 / DC.9&MD80 / 737 / A32x / 727/ 777 / 767
Alain

[FlyCharlestonSC]

I have a feeling if any United plane could talk, it would complain.

[indian airlines]

"Watch me shoot my load"

- F/A-18 Hornet

LMAO!!!

[Greg]

I can't think of any quote but I can imagine an A380 whining around swimsuit season.

[PIAA310]

The A380's going to need to go on a diet during swinsuit season...lol

[Chasen_KSFO]

"Watch me shoot my load"

- F/A-18 Hornet

nice!

[Katamarino]

Jumbo: Hey Titch, hows things?
Cessna: Ahh, not bad, bored stiff though, been flying back and forth between the same tiny fields all day!
Jumbo: Huh, you think thats bad, what about MY job?
Cessna: At least you get to go see exotic places, i'm stuck here for my whole life!
Jumbo: It's overrated, 14 hours in the freezing cold in the middle, and when I get there it's usually raining. And the French planes are rude.
Airport: Oh stop your whining. You both get to go galavanting off around the place and i have to sit here for my whole life and let the likes of you roll all over me
Jumbo: At least you dont have to put up with a couple of pies-in-ties sitting inside your head making irritating small talk all day, it's driving me mad i tell you, the voices, the voices, ahhhhh.....
Cessna: Oh dear, there he goes again, totally switches off and starts talking to himself, he might as well be on autopilot.
Airport: Hope he doesnt bump my gantry again, that did hurt awfully last week. I keep hoping he'll suck one of those nastly little 2 leg flies down his intakes, they're swarming all over me and make such a buzzing!
Cessna: I can chop one of with my nose if you like!
Airport: We probably shouldnt, last time you did that they buzzed around you for weeks didnt they!
Cessna: Yeah but it wasnt so bad, that goon who sits in my head took the rap! He was certainly surprised when i went for it!
Airport: I know, i still remember the look on his face!
Jumbo: Whoaoa, sorry about that, dont know what came over me! Switched off for a moment there!
Airport: Wondered if you'd ever wake up. Come on, you're due to go soon arent you?
Jumbo: Yeah, but i fancied a longer nap. I've shorted a wire in my cockpit, that'll keep them busy for a while
Airport: Thats the third time this week, you do it too often they'll come and take you away. Remember what happened to that poor Airbus last week...
Cessna: Oh dear, i remember that! They found pieces of him all over that hanger
Jumbo: Good point. Maybe i should unstick that hatch cover and let them in...
Airport You do that. Oh and be careful as you leave, you are rather heavy and taxiway Golf is a bit sore at the moment!

[Airbus_A320]

Jumbo: Hey Titch, hows things?
Cessna: Ahh, not bad, bored stiff though, been flying back and forth between the same tiny fields all day!
Jumbo: Huh, you think thats bad, what about MY job?
Cessna: At least you get to go see exotic places, i'm stuck here for my whole life!
Jumbo: It's overrated, 14 hours in the freezing cold in the middle, and when I get there it's usually raining. And the French planes are rude.
Airport: Oh stop your whining. You both get to go galavanting off around the place and i have to sit here for my whole life and let the likes of you roll all over me
Jumbo: At least you dont have to put up with a couple of pies-in-ties sitting inside your head making irritating small talk all day, it's driving me mad i tell you, the voices, the voices, ahhhhh.....
Cessna: Oh dear, there he goes again, totally switches off and starts talking to himself, he might as well be on autopilot.
Airport: Hope he doesnt bump my gantry again, that did hurt awfully last week. I keep hoping he'll suck one of those nastly little 2 leg flies down his intakes, they're swarming all over me and make such a buzzing!
Cessna: I can chop one of with my nose if you like!
Airport: We probably shouldnt, last time you did that they buzzed around you for weeks didnt they!
Cessna: Yeah but it wasnt so bad, that goon who sits in my head took the rap! He was certainly surprised when i went for it!
Airport: I know, i still remember the look on his face!
Jumbo: Whoaoa, sorry about that, dont know what came over me! Switched off for a moment there!
Airport: Wondered if you'd ever wake up. Come on, you're due to go soon arent you?
Jumbo: Yeah, but i fancied a longer nap. I've shorted a wire in my cockpit, that'll keep them busy for a while
Airport: Thats the third time this week, you do it too often they'll come and take you away. Remember what happened to that poor Airbus last week...
Cessna: Oh dear, i remember that! They found pieces of him all over that hanger
Jumbo: Good point. Maybe i should unstick that hatch cover and let them in...
Airport You do that. Oh and be careful as you leave, you are rather heavy and taxiway Golf is a bit sore at the moment!

LOL thats funny
I wonder what oppinion the airport and planes think of photographers

[assghanistan]

damn! where do you people find the time?!?!?

[uy707]

Thanks Jess for this funny dialogue

You have no idea how much I hated flying. For most of my take-offs I desperately needed this small fourth auxilliary engine to help me lift off. Starting with my crewmembers, professionnals nicknamed me "The Gripper" and I was probably the 727's favorite laughing-stock. Btw I don't fly anymore and that's good for me !!!
HS-121 Trident 3.

Alain

[mikecweb]

Vintage Jess....nice cambridge girl.

[uy707]

Stop stretching me ! I have got my share more than anyflying body else, and I am through with all those growth steroids !

DC 9-15 looking herself in a mirror but getting the image of a MD90

Alain