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Idiots of 2004 (non-political)

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  • NOTAR520AC
    replied
    I love Bill Engvall's "here's your sign" gig!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Airbus_A320
    replied

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  • CheckSix
    replied
    Boy, I didn't realize #4 wasn't there! Anyhow, I know, some of them sound a little fake, but still a good read.

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  • ATLcenter
    replied
    Funny as hell! Ha.. true idiot of the world, past and present.

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  • FlyCharlestonSC
    replied
    Re: Idiots of 2004 (non-political)

    Originally posted by CheckSix
    Number Three Idiot of 2004

    A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
    downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this
    iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag" While standing in
    line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry
    that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
    before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
    America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few
    minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
    read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
    brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
    his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
    deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
    Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
    defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
    minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

    Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

    That's been around for years! That aint 2004!


    Very funny

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  • cal99
    replied

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  • ASpilot2be
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  • N776AU
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  • Greg J.
    replied
    They all must be friends with my boss!

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  • MaDbOy
    replied
    HEY, where's number 4
    anyway entertaining reading, number 8 is by far the most dumb one

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  • assghanistan
    replied
    i had to forward that one to a few people.

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  • CheckSix
    started a topic Idiots of 2004 (non-political)

    Idiots of 2004 (non-political)

    Got this in an e-mail. Don't know if anyone else read it.



    Subject: Idiots of 2004

    Number One Idiot of 2004

    I am a medical student currently doing a rotation
    in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman
    called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating
    ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful
    and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
    hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation
    happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison
    to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
    daughter into the emergency room right away.

    Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Number Two Idiot of 2004

    Early this year, some Boeing employees on the
    airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They
    were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after
    they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard
    helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper
    was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when
    the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

    Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Number Three Idiot of 2004

    A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
    downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this
    iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag" While standing in
    line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry
    that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
    before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
    America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few
    minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
    read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
    brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
    his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
    deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
    Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
    defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
    minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

    Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Number Five Idiot of 2004

    A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
    demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
    After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
    Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
    cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and
    said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber said he
    was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he
    didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's
    license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
    looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
    he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
    with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the
    name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
    They arrested the robber two hours later.

    This guy definitely needs a sign!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Idiot Number Six of 2004

    A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
    nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody
    move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

    This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Idiot Number Seven of 2004

    Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
    He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
    store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder
    block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block
    bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him
    unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.
    The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts.

    Give him his sign.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Idiot Number Eight of 2004

    Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
    walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M.,
    flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because
    he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
    When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
    available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    Sign please.
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