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50 fun things to do when salesman call....

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  • 50 fun things to do when salesman call....

    Hey all, its about time to refresh the memory of how to play games with phone salesmen...(not as good as others Ive seen tho)



    1. Tell them they must have the wrong number, only God lives here.
    2. When they call back, tell them this is the devil's residence.
    3. Tell them s/he can't come to the phone right now as they are in deep
    meditation and may stay that way for days.
    4. Start telling them about the wonderful encyclopedias you have in stock.
    5. Start telling them your life story.
    6. Tell them about your intense hatred for salespeople, then ask where they
    live.
    7. Reply to all their questions in song.
    8. Ask for someone who can translate Pig Latin, as you speak no other
    language.
    9. Hand the phone to the youngest member of the house - preferably under five.
    If no such person is available, give the phone to a pet.
    10. As soon as they name the corporation they represent begin barking
    relentlessly.
    11. Start trying to give them a psychological analysis.
    12. Demand that they refer to you as Dr. Chopstick.
    13. Proudly describe what you found in your ear this morning.
    14. Ask them what color underwear they are wearing today.
    15. Describe your socks in detail.
    16. Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster.
    17. Whiningly tell them that it is past your bedtime.
    18. Midway through the conversation say, "Oh no Phil! You've done it again!
    I told you that knife was too sharp! Where are we going to get the money for
    another funeral?"
    19. Ask them repeatedly if they believe in antelopes.
    20. Refuse to answer any of their questions, as they may be one of THEM!
    21. Ask them what they think would happen if you put a frog in a blender
    later tell them they were wrong.
    22. Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat
    some more.
    23. Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream, "Don't leave me!"
    24. Tell them about the time you got stuck in the doggy door.
    25. When they ask to speak to you spend a long time trying to decide if that
    really is your name and after you realize it is ask them to remind you of it
    occasionally.
    26. Proudly explain that they are the first person that you have spoken to
    since you returned to Earth.
    27. In the middle of the conversation start humming the Sesame Street theme
    song, when they try to speak sound surprised and say, "Is someone there?"
    28. Begin snoring.
    29. Gleefully explain that "they" have come for you and that you are going to
    a better place.
    30. Start screaming whenever they say the word "that."
    31. Say, "I am so glad you called, I have been waiting and waiting to hear
    from you!"
    32. Answer every question with the phase, "I like eggs."
    33. Say "Don't you hate it when you get your tongue stuck in a door?"
    34. Tearfully explain "It's you, my long last sister/brother!" as soon as
    they identify themselves.
    35. Complain to them about how outrageous it is that you have to take time
    out of your busy day to breathe.
    36. Start reading them some of your poetry.
    37. Occasionally start singing commercial jingles.
    38. Suggest that the two of you get together sometime and go bowling.
    39. Go into detail about the government's plot to overthrow the universe.
    40. Ask them what they would do if there was a dead body on the floor of
    their living room.
    41. Discuss what a wonderful world it would be if we were all born with
    tails.
    42. Whenever they try to get a word in babble on about how young people these
    days talk way too much, and don't respect their elders. (Works best if they
    are clearly older than you.)
    43. During complete silence ask them if they hear that pounding noise.
    44. Make loud pounding noises and when they ask about them say "What pounding
    noises?"
    45. Tell them to hold on a second, set down the phone and sing loudly.
    46. Insist on calling them Mr. Spock.
    47. Ask them if they will get you a birthday present.
    48. Tell them you can't talk now, as you are trapped in an invisible box.
    49. Beg them to dispose of your dentist, who is involved in a secret plot
    that shall result in your demise.
    50. Pretend to be an answering machine.

  • #2
    Funny! I'm going to use some of these

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    • #3
      I cant stop laughing about some of them

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      • #4
        Re:

        Heh heh heh... They're all pretty good. I dunno about this one though:

        18. Midway through the conversation say, "Oh no Phil! You've done it again!
        I told you that knife was too sharp! Where are we going to get the money for
        another funeral?"
        That actually might invite trouble.

        Foxtrot

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        • #5
          I just put them on hold. One guy lasted 35 minutes

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          • #6
            HAHAHA i got to use this on some stupid National Survey Lady who always calls me!
            Only the dead have seen the end of the war-Plato

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            • #7

              Funny although I doubt they will work....you know you can tell them you aren't interested but they don't let up...infact tI took a sales class last semester and that one of the things they taught...lol

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              • #8
                - The baby will be back -

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                • #9
                  Hilarious!

                  -Pete
                  Pete Ganabathi
                  Embry Riddle Aeronautical University

                  Fly Frontier Airlines - A Whole Different Animal

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    i got a good one, when they finish ther first sentance, say "the fox has left the henhouse, and the eagel has flown safely"

                    when they say "excuse me?" say(in a worried voice) "oh, um, i thought you were someone else" than hang up the phone quickly
                    ^----raveing lunatic


                    please excuse my horendus mangeling of the english language, its only my first :P

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                    • #11
                      I'm gonna use those!!!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Genessee
                        I just put them on hold. One guy lasted 35 minutes


                        I usually go "Ok well, you just give me your name and home phone and ill call you back at a inconvenient time ok?"
                        -Kevin

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                        • #13
                          they are very good!
                          My New Photo Name on JP.net is DutchAviation!!!!

                          why should we fight about wich aircraft manufactor is better..............


                          thats so childish....



                          because hey we all know boeing is better

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                          • #14
                            51. So when was the last time you had sex?
                            52.whisper over and over..."I hear dead people, and they aren't very nice."
                            53. Dude you interrupted me in the best sex ever!! Your gonna fucking die!! I know Im fucking...
                            54.Describe how you met your current b/f or g/f.
                            55. Put the phone near the tv and let them listen to the movie or show.
                            56. say.. "Ohhh the mystic vibes, tell me this is a salesperson and you want me to buy something!" see if he/she says yes... then say " I AM SOOO GOOD, IV BENE PRACTICING, WANNA HEAR MORE MAGIC TRICKS?!"

                            some others I thought up.
                            Alex
                            Stop Searching. Start Traveling. southwest.com

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              LOL Alex, those are nice
                              i'm definately gonna use some
                              Suche gut gebaute 18-30 Jährigen zum schlachten.
                              - Metzgermeister

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