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IF YOU THINK YOU'RE DUMB WHEN IT COMES TO COMPUTERS, READ THIS AND YOU'LL FEEL BETTER. (These stories are all true from; WSJ)
Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is technologically challenged, you
"ain't seen nuthin" yet.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key"
because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control
with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was
packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.
After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He
had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard
for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his
computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the
computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the
technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also
tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still
couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell
Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked
her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed
on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse...
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't
work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in
the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some
problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it
in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive
this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it
have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just
has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was
laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a
cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked
her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to
the door. But that is a good point.The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and his printer is working fine."
12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That
brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up
the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard
Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is technologically challenged, you
"ain't seen nuthin" yet.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key"
because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control
with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was
packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.
After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He
had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard
for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his
computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the
computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the
technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also
tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still
couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell
Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked
her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed
on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse...
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't
work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in
the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some
problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it
in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive
this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it
have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just
has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was
laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a
cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked
her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to
the door. But that is a good point.The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and his printer is working fine."
12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That
brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up
the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard
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