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Something to Offend Everyone

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  • c72
    replied
    Originally posted by matt1168
    Those are some of the funniest jokes I've ever heard!
    Matt signature image is a little on the big size

    Leave a comment:


  • Crazy764
    replied
    Too funny!

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  • FlyingPhotog
    replied
    Loved it! Copied it into an email to all my friends here at work. :clap

    I did remove the jokes about the mexicans and the gays because I work with people of both groups.

    Leave a comment:


  • mcphoto1011
    replied

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  • srbmod
    Guest replied
    Dammit, I not offended at all! Now try again, but I got to warn you, I'm not sure what would offend me, which is why my life is rated NC-17!

    Leave a comment:


  • matt1168
    replied
    Those are some of the funniest jokes I've ever heard!

    Leave a comment:


  • MaDbOy
    replied

    Leave a comment:


  • screaming_emu
    replied
    those are hillarious

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  • uy707
    replied
    Some are rather crual, but all are funny

    Alain

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  • Airbus_A320
    replied
    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with
    ... "a recipe".

    Leave a comment:


  • Stephen Toernblom
    started a topic Something to Offend Everyone

    Something to Offend Everyone

    Got this from a friend of mine.......

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why doesn't the fire department hire mexicans?
    They can't tell the difference between Jose and Hose B.

    What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
    The position of the dirt bag

    Why is divorce so expensive?
    Because it's worth it.

    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    Doughnuts

    Why is air a lot like sex?
    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.

    What do attorneys use for birth control?
    Their personalities.

    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
    45 lbs

    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
    45 minutes

    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife.

    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.

    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.

    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
    Because they have cotton balls.

    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    "Are you sure it's mine?"

    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
    Everyone has the same DNA.

    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breasts don't have eyes.

    Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
    He walks around saying "Yo."

    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
    A different bar.

    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A speech impediment

    What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
    They're hiring.

    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with
    ... "a recipe".

    How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
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