More jokes

[ACman]

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the
truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them.

They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"


A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because", he replied, "that's a microwave."

[slate]

Pretty funny, here is one I liked.

Four brothers left home for college, and they became
successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some
years later, they chatted after having dinner
together. They discussed the gifts that they were able
to give to their elderly mother who lived far away in
another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama"

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar
theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her
an SL600."

The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama
loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read it
anymore because she can't see very well. I met this
priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the
entire Bible. It took twenty priests 12 years to teach
him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year
for ten years to the church, but it was worth it.
Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the
parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I
live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole
house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have
my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes.
The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you give me an expensive theater with Dolby
sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are
dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll
never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the
same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the
good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The
chicken was delicious. Thank you."

[Airbus_A320]