



YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK IF...
1) The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth that your spouse.
2) You let your 12-year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3) You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4) You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5) Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
6) You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
7) Your wife's hairdo has been ruined by a ceiling fan.

9) You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
10) You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
11) You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
12) You think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of K-Mart.
13) A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvement.
14) You've ever use a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
15) You've ever asked a preacher "How's it hangin'?"
16) You missed graduation from middle school because you had jury duty.
17) At least one member in your family has died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch this!"
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19) You think fast food is hitting a deer while driving 65 mph.
20) Somebody tells you that you have something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
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