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  • More aviation humour

    THIS WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO FLY --

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
    conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
    flight,
    that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem,
    and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial
    action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the
    nextflight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

    Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
    submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
    engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had
    an
    accident.


    (P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
    (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)
    =========================================

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    -----------

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
    ---------------

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.
    ------------------

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on backorder.
    -------------------

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    -------------------

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.
    ----------------------

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    -------------------

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for.
    -----------------

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    -----------------

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.
    ------------------

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
    -----------------

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
    ------------------

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    -------------------

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.
    -----------------

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
    on
    something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

    ___________________________________

    -Kevin

  • #2
    hahahahahahah
    where can I buy one of those f-15's? I could scare the sh!t out of my friend when hes at his cottage

    btw, didnt a Qantas 744 run off a runway once?
    Christian Vlček Sullivan | Through The Fence Photography
    Forever New Frontiers

    Comment


    • #3
      Heard those many times already...


      and also, I'd imagine I'll have more luck fishing out an Avro Arrow test model (that they launched to test flight data)out of Lake Ontario than fishing out one of that!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by kaddyuk
        Yet again... this has been done about a million times... **sigh**

        So this is somehow my fault?
        -Kevin

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by ACman
          So this is somehow my fault?
          most definately

          Comment


          • #6
            OMFG ROTFLOL! I never read those before.

            Thanx for the good laugh

            Comment


            • #7
              Yeah its been posted a million times before, but its still funny as hell.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by tommyalf
                Yeah its been posted a million times before, but its still funny as hell.
                A classic never dies.
                -Kevin

                Comment


                • #9
                  Funny, well done!
                  Yanni


                  Fly Olympic Airlines!



                  Click Here to view my aircraft photos at JetPhotos.Net!

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