This came from an e-mail:
Idiots on Parade
IDIOTS AT VERIZON: This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to
contact the telephone repair people from a pay phone. They promised to be out
between 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time
window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we
come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our
phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future Outages by
email....... (Seeing as how our Internet service is through a dial up service, I
thought to myself, "and how exactly could I have done THAT???").
IDIOTS AT WALMART: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when
the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was
signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the
signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in
front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed
on the receipt. As luck would have it, they match.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of
the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by
Cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a
taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross
the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-challenged coworker of mine
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are
blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was
leaving the company due to "down sizing," our manager commented cheerfully,
"This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all
just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not
turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
mechanic, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
Idiots on Parade
IDIOTS AT VERIZON: This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to
contact the telephone repair people from a pay phone. They promised to be out
between 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time
window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we
come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our
phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future Outages by
email....... (Seeing as how our Internet service is through a dial up service, I
thought to myself, "and how exactly could I have done THAT???").
IDIOTS AT WALMART: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when
the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was
signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the
signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in
front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed
on the receipt. As luck would have it, they match.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of
the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by
Cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a
taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross
the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-challenged coworker of mine
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are
blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was
leaving the company due to "down sizing," our manager commented cheerfully,
"This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all
just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not
turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
mechanic, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

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