40 reasons, why beer is better than woman

[MaDbOy]

Got this in my mailbox today....

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball/soccer/basketball/etc.
5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath.
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
15. A beer always goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
19. Beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. You can have a beer in public.
22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
26. Good beer costs less than good women.
27. A beer doesn't change its mind after you've taken off its top.
28. Beer doesn't expect an hour of foreplay before satisfying you.
29. A beer looks as good in the morning as it did when the bar closed.
30. You can't get thrown in jail for having a beer under the grandstand at halftime.
31. Afterwards, a beer won't feel guilty, cry, propose, call her mother, your ex-wife or her therapist.
32. Beer never bugs you to have little beers.
33. If your preference for a type of beer changes, you don't have to get involved with lawyers.
34. Beers don't want a lasting relationship.
35. A beer doesn't make you sleep onthe couch after you've taken six other beers on a picnic.
36. After you've put your lips to a beer, a beer never asks, "What are you doing?"
37. Finishing a beer in 3 seconds is something to be proud of.
38. You can have a beer on your lunch hour.
39. A beer never wants to stay up afterwards talking about respect.
40. A beer won't slap you in the face for putting it between your legs at a drive-in movie.

[DAL767-400ER]

Oldie, but still a hilarious goldie .

[Messerschmitt Man]

They've got 1 like that posted up at work.

speaking of jokes;

a bus full of nuns crashes and all of them die. their all standing outside the pearly gates. st. peter asks the first nun "whats the worst thing youve done?" she starts crying and says she saw a mans erection. st peter says wash your eyes in the holy fountain and all will be forgiven. you may pass.
the second nun comes before st peter and he asks her the same question. she breaks down and says she gave a man a hand job. he says wash your hands in the holy fountain and you will be forgiven.
Just then st peter sees a nun cut in the front of the line. He says there is no need for that. the nun replies "but i want to wash out my mouth before sister mary sticks her ass in the fountain."

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to teach them to take off.



---------ATTENTION----------

FREE PICS OF PRESIDENT BUSH!!!

(Wipe your ass to develope)


hopefully I won't get into to much trouble for those^ for the sensitive one's remember it's only a joke or two, the world's not gonna come tumbling down or whatever.

[MaxPower]

I get it, but the second nun wasnt gonna stick her ass in the fountain at all, but to wash her hands ..:rolleyes:... but good one

[Messerschmitt Man]

I get it,the second nun wasnt gonna stick her ass in the fountain at all, but to wash her hands ..:rolleyes:... but good one

it's not rocket science mate!

[egll]

My wife has told me this isn't funny at all......ever.



Matt

[LX-A343]

My wife has told me this isn't funny at all......ever.

Now, THAT was a good joke

Gerardo

[pdeboer]

My wife has told me this isn't funny at all......ever.

Just to give another reaction from the female department: the corners of my mouth did actually curl upwards reading this I suppose one can fill in a lot of these lines with the thought that beer is better than man..think about it

[MaDbOy]

Just to give another reaction from the female department: the corners of my mouth did actually curl upwards reading this

Could that be classified as a ''revenge-will-come'' laugh?

[pdeboer]

Could that be classified as a ''revenge-will-come'' laugh?

I am not sure what you mean with that
I think you thought I laughed about the response of Matt's wife, but I meant to say that I was actually a bit amused by the joke (quite opposite her reaction).

[MaDbOy]

I am not sure what you mean with that
I think you thought I laughed about the response of Matt's wife, but I meant to say that I was actually a bit amused by the joke (quite opposite her reaction).

no ....
I meant you would come up with a list ''40 reason why ***** are better than men'' as Revenge

[FlyingPhotog]

You can't &%$# a beer. Argument over.

[avro_arrow_25206]

You can't &%$# a beer. Argument over.

You sure about that? I remember seeing.....never mind

[pdeboer]

no ....
I meant you would come up with a list ''40 reason why ***** are better than men'' as Revenge

Found it!



Why BEER is better than a MAN

---

1. A beer makes life easier.
2. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
3. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
4. A beer doesn't want to watch pro wrestling.
5. A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.
6. A beer will never leave dirty socks on the floor.
7. A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes.
8. A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
9. A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
10. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.
11. A beer won't leave you for a younger woman.
12. A beer won't leave you for a younger man either.
13. You don't have to worry about getting AIDS from a bisexual beer.
14. Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
15. A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.
16. A beer will never smell like a man.
17. A beer doesn't wouldn't trade you in on a sports car.
18. If a beer did have a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.
19. A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.
20. A beer doesn't sulk.
21. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
22. A beer won't switch the TV channel.
23. A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open.
24. A beer doesn't snore.
25. A beer can't interrupt.
26. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburator.
27. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
28. A beer doesn't belch.
29. Or fart.
30. A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom.
31. A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.
32. A good beer is easy to find.
33. Tall, dark, good-looking beers are common.
34. A beer can't pout.
35. A beer doesn't have a mother.
36. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.
37. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.
38. A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.
39. A beer won't even mind if you have another six pack.
40. A beer doesn't buy everything labelled "turbo".
41. A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.
42. A beer will be there for anytime of the month.
43. A beer doesn't want children.
44. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.
45. A beer isn't ready until you're ready.
46. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.
47. A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you.
48. Hangovers go away.
49. A beer tastes good.
50. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.
51. A beer would never leave hair in the bottom of the bathtub.
52. A beer is never late.
53. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
54. A beer's life does not revolve around the world series.
55. A beer won't think less of you if you can't name the Steelers' quarterback.
56. A beer won't even act amazed if you can.
57. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
58. A beer never needs a shave.
59. You don't have to let a beer win.
60. A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza.
61. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you
have to sleep with a beer too.
62. A beer doesn't have morning breath.
63. A beer never wants to go to the drag races.
64. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.
65. A beer helps with the houswork.
66. A beer will never drink the last beer.
67. A beer will never fumble with your bra.
68. You can't get herpes from a beer.
69. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
70. A beer always lets you read the Sunday comics first.
71. A beer is seldom messy.
72. When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.
73. After you've had a beer, all you're committed to doing is
throwing out the container.
74. A beer container is recyclable.
75. A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.
76. A beer will NEVER call you "Babe". Or "Sugar".
77. A beer is never tempermental.
78. A beer will never complain about your cooking.
79. A cold beer is a good beer.
80. A beer is not kinky unless you want it to be kinky.
81. A beer will never worry about losing its hair.
82. A big, fat beer is nice to have.
83. A beer is never too sensitive.
84. A beer won't steal the covers.
85. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.
86. A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.

It's even longer than the other list

[MaDbOy]

hmmm.....men are that bad?
now I understand why sometimes woman say ''men!'' *sigh*