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40 reasons, why beer is better than woman

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  • Da-BoB
    replied
    Beer... the Bigger... The Better

    Leave a comment:


  • TangoSierraVictor
    replied
    Average beer size is not subject to as much fluctuation

    Tango

    Leave a comment:


  • Crunk415balla
    replied
    Originally posted by UsAir330
    -A 747 can keep you up for 14 hours.

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  • Star Alliance
    replied
    Found this in one of the earliest off topic threads:

    WHY AIRPLANES ARE BETTER THAN WOMAN

    -You can predict an airplane
    -If you respect an airplane, it will be good to you
    -Airplane skin doesn't wrinkle as badly
    -An Airplane won't criticize your performance
    -An Airplane doesn't care where you were last night
    -Airplanes don't know what money is
    -Airplanes don't get pregnant
    -Airplanes don't take forever to warm up
    -Airplanes don't spend hours in front of the mirror
    -Airplanes like to do it inverted
    -An Airplane doesn't insist that you shower before entering it
    -Airplanes don't talk back
    -Airplanes don't get headaches
    -Airplanes don't take half of everything
    -You can go down in an Airplane....Women just bring you down
    -An Airplane is cheaper to maintain
    -You don't get diseases from an Airplane
    -Airplanes have better s****s
    -Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch
    -You can approach an Airplane from the rear
    -An Airplane won't smack you for being a "bush pilot"
    -You don't always have to be on top to ride an Airplane
    -An Airplane doesn't ask you to put on a raincoat before entry
    -You can easily leave an Airplane before sunrise
    -Airplane exhaust fumes smell better
    -Airplanes lose weight faster
    -An Airplane doesn't get mad when you "touch and go"
    -An Airplane's performance is seldom hindered by weather
    -An Airplane will not get mad when you ride somebody else's Airplane
    -An Airplane's cockpit is cleaner
    -You can calculate an Airplane's peak performance
    -An Airplane is easier to roll over
    -You can still activate a fifty year old Airplane
    -Airplanes don't lose their lubrication.
    -Airplanes don't droop after many years.
    -Airplanes are easy to love.
    -You don't have to sweet talk an Airplane.
    -An Airplane moves when you tell it to.
    -Airplanes give a better ride for the money.
    -A wide body Airplane is more attractive than a wide body woman is.
    -An Airplane will kill you quick, a woman takes her time.
    -An Airplane does not object to a preflight inspection.
    -An Airplane doesn't make you "pull-out" to eject.
    -You can change the looks of an airplane.
    -Airplanes come with manuals.
    -Airplanes can handle thrust better.
    -Airplanes don't scream.
    -A 747 can keep you up for 14 hours.
    -You can adjust an Airplane's attitude.
    -Women have more drag than lift.
    -Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.
    -Airplanes have tray tables and ashtrays.

    Hehehehe.
    Score one for the Jalapenos!!
    w00t,
    330

    Leave a comment:


  • MaxPower
    replied
    aww you got us good de boer ..


    current score

    M - 1

    she's back on track ..
    F - 1

    Leave a comment:


  • indian airlines
    replied
    Originally posted by MaDbOy
    hmmm.....men are that bad?
    now I understand why sometimes women say ''men!'' *sigh*
    Fine then...from now on you can use the ladies bathroom.

    Leave a comment:


  • MaDbOy
    replied
    hmmm.....men are that bad?
    now I understand why sometimes woman say ''men!'' *sigh*

    Leave a comment:


  • pdeboer
    replied
    Originally posted by MaDbOy
    no ....
    I meant you would come up with a list ''40 reason why ***** are better than men'' as Revenge
    Found it!



    Why BEER is better than a MAN





    1. A beer makes life easier.
    2. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
    3. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
    4. A beer doesn't want to watch pro wrestling.
    5. A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.
    6. A beer will never leave dirty socks on the floor.
    7. A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes.
    8. A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
    9. A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
    10. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.
    11. A beer won't leave you for a younger woman.
    12. A beer won't leave you for a younger man either.
    13. You don't have to worry about getting AIDS from a bisexual beer.
    14. Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
    15. A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.
    16. A beer will never smell like a man.
    17. A beer doesn't wouldn't trade you in on a sports car.
    18. If a beer did have a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.
    19. A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.
    20. A beer doesn't sulk.
    21. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
    22. A beer won't switch the TV channel.
    23. A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open.
    24. A beer doesn't snore.
    25. A beer can't interrupt.
    26. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburator.
    27. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
    28. A beer doesn't belch.
    29. Or fart.
    30. A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom.
    31. A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.
    32. A good beer is easy to find.
    33. Tall, dark, good-looking beers are common.
    34. A beer can't pout.
    35. A beer doesn't have a mother.
    36. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.
    37. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.
    38. A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.
    39. A beer won't even mind if you have another six pack.
    40. A beer doesn't buy everything labelled "turbo".
    41. A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.
    42. A beer will be there for anytime of the month.
    43. A beer doesn't want children.
    44. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.
    45. A beer isn't ready until you're ready.
    46. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.
    47. A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you.
    48. Hangovers go away.
    49. A beer tastes good.
    50. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.
    51. A beer would never leave hair in the bottom of the bathtub.
    52. A beer is never late.
    53. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
    54. A beer's life does not revolve around the world series.
    55. A beer won't think less of you if you can't name the Steelers' quarterback.
    56. A beer won't even act amazed if you can.
    57. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
    58. A beer never needs a shave.
    59. You don't have to let a beer win.
    60. A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza.
    61. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you
    have to sleep with a beer too.
    62. A beer doesn't have morning breath.
    63. A beer never wants to go to the drag races.
    64. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.
    65. A beer helps with the houswork.
    66. A beer will never drink the last beer.
    67. A beer will never fumble with your bra.
    68. You can't get herpes from a beer.
    69. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
    70. A beer always lets you read the Sunday comics first.
    71. A beer is seldom messy.
    72. When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.
    73. After you've had a beer, all you're committed to doing is
    throwing out the container.
    74. A beer container is recyclable.
    75. A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.
    76. A beer will NEVER call you "Babe". Or "Sugar".
    77. A beer is never tempermental.
    78. A beer will never complain about your cooking.
    79. A cold beer is a good beer.
    80. A beer is not kinky unless you want it to be kinky.
    81. A beer will never worry about losing its hair.
    82. A big, fat beer is nice to have.
    83. A beer is never too sensitive.
    84. A beer won't steal the covers.
    85. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.
    86. A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.

    It's even longer than the other list

    Leave a comment:


  • avro_arrow_25206
    replied
    Originally posted by PT737SWA
    You can't &%$# a beer. Argument over.
    You sure about that? I remember seeing.....never mind

    Leave a comment:


  • FlyingPhotog
    replied
    You can't &%$# a beer. Argument over.

    Leave a comment:


  • MaDbOy
    replied
    Originally posted by pdeboer
    I am not sure what you mean with that
    I think you thought I laughed about the response of Matt's wife, but I meant to say that I was actually a bit amused by the joke (quite opposite her reaction).
    no ....
    I meant you would come up with a list ''40 reason why ***** are better than men'' as Revenge

    Leave a comment:


  • pdeboer
    replied
    Originally posted by MaDbOy
    Could that be classified as a ''revenge-will-come'' laugh?
    I am not sure what you mean with that
    I think you thought I laughed about the response of Matt's wife, but I meant to say that I was actually a bit amused by the joke (quite opposite her reaction).

    Leave a comment:


  • MaDbOy
    replied
    Originally posted by pdeboer
    Just to give another reaction from the female department: the corners of my mouth did actually curl upwards reading this
    Could that be classified as a ''revenge-will-come'' laugh?

    Leave a comment:


  • pdeboer
    replied
    Originally posted by egll
    My wife has told me this isn't funny at all......ever.
    Just to give another reaction from the female department: the corners of my mouth did actually curl upwards reading this I suppose one can fill in a lot of these lines with the thought that beer is better than man..think about it

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  • LX-A343
    replied
    Originally posted by egll
    My wife has told me this isn't funny at all......ever.
    Now, THAT was a good joke

    Gerardo

    Leave a comment:

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