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1. "Vacation" means driving to Chitna to dip net
2. You measure distance in hours
3. Down south to you means Anchorage
4. You know several people who have hit a moose
5. Your school classes aren't cancelled because of cold
6. Your school classes were cancelled because of 20 feet of snow
7. You think of the four major food groups as moose, caribou, beer, and squaw candy
8. You think that moose season is a national holiday
9. You know what a real sockeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones
10. You know if another Alaskan is from the city or the village as soon as they open their mouth
11. You can spell words like Chatanika, Ninilchik, and Tuntutuliak
12. You've had cabin fever
13. You own moose nugget earrings
14. Mosquito dope is part of your daily attire
15. You think the song "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" is about spring time
16. Travel luggage consists of ice coolers (or boxes) wrapped with duct tape
17. A seven course meal is a sixpack and a can of SPAM
18. When you answer the phone and it's a wrong number, but you know the number of the person they were trying to call off the top of your head
19. You have bigger tires on your plane than on your car
20. Someone mentions "super cub" and you do not envision a tiny bear wearing blue tights and a red cap
21. Your relatives/friends think you live too far away for them to come visit you, but keep asking you to come see them more often.
22. October is the month of your highest income
23. The reason you don't own a poodle is because an eagle ate the last one
24. Kids catch the bus in the dark and get off it in the dark
25. You know why they named it Chicken, Alaska
26. You know that road flares will start a nice bon fire
27. You take the door off the outhouse to see the aurora
28. Your idea of taking a load off is emptying the firewood out of the back of the truck
29. You know a tail-dragger is an airplane, not a bad day at the office
30. You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a .357 magnum, not a lawyer
31. You like your neighbors
32. You know at least one pot grower
33. You put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent Fund Dividend checks come out in October
34. You know going "outside" involves a whole lot more than opening a door and walking into the yard
35. You know Bunny Boots aren't worn by bunnies or made out of bunnies
36. You know the meaning of the word "baleen" and it has nothing to do with making hay into large cubes
37. You take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists
38. You don't know anyone who doesn't own a fourwheeler
39. You've washed your car while there was still snow on the ground
40. You know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey
41. You know that the Rat Net is not a rodent catching device
42. You learned to swim indoors
43. Your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil
44. Your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill
45. You know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions not correcting fluid for typos
46. You think it's normal for a town to put all the businesses on one side of the road
47. Your local golf course has "happy hour" between 1:00 and 2:00 am
48. The seat in your outhouse is lined with styrofoam so your butt won't freeze to it when you have to sit down for a certain amount of time
49. You've had to set your alarm every three hours to go start you car and let it run for 20 minutes so hopefully it will start in the morning so you can go to work
50. Instead of plugging in your freezer, you just move it to the front porch
51. You open your freezer to take out something for dinner, and are faced with many choices: Pink Salmon, Silver Salmon, Red Salmon, King Salmon, Smoked Salmon, or Halibut
52. You can play road hockey on skates
53. You see signs saying Do or do NOT _____ but you never see any law enforcement people
54. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Alaska
(No Offence to Alec)
2. You measure distance in hours
3. Down south to you means Anchorage
4. You know several people who have hit a moose
5. Your school classes aren't cancelled because of cold
6. Your school classes were cancelled because of 20 feet of snow
7. You think of the four major food groups as moose, caribou, beer, and squaw candy
8. You think that moose season is a national holiday
9. You know what a real sockeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones
10. You know if another Alaskan is from the city or the village as soon as they open their mouth
11. You can spell words like Chatanika, Ninilchik, and Tuntutuliak
12. You've had cabin fever
13. You own moose nugget earrings
14. Mosquito dope is part of your daily attire
15. You think the song "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" is about spring time
16. Travel luggage consists of ice coolers (or boxes) wrapped with duct tape
17. A seven course meal is a sixpack and a can of SPAM
18. When you answer the phone and it's a wrong number, but you know the number of the person they were trying to call off the top of your head
19. You have bigger tires on your plane than on your car
20. Someone mentions "super cub" and you do not envision a tiny bear wearing blue tights and a red cap
21. Your relatives/friends think you live too far away for them to come visit you, but keep asking you to come see them more often.
22. October is the month of your highest income
23. The reason you don't own a poodle is because an eagle ate the last one
24. Kids catch the bus in the dark and get off it in the dark
25. You know why they named it Chicken, Alaska
26. You know that road flares will start a nice bon fire
27. You take the door off the outhouse to see the aurora
28. Your idea of taking a load off is emptying the firewood out of the back of the truck
29. You know a tail-dragger is an airplane, not a bad day at the office
30. You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a .357 magnum, not a lawyer
31. You like your neighbors
32. You know at least one pot grower
33. You put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent Fund Dividend checks come out in October
34. You know going "outside" involves a whole lot more than opening a door and walking into the yard
35. You know Bunny Boots aren't worn by bunnies or made out of bunnies
36. You know the meaning of the word "baleen" and it has nothing to do with making hay into large cubes
37. You take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists
38. You don't know anyone who doesn't own a fourwheeler
39. You've washed your car while there was still snow on the ground
40. You know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey
41. You know that the Rat Net is not a rodent catching device
42. You learned to swim indoors
43. Your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil
44. Your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill
45. You know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions not correcting fluid for typos
46. You think it's normal for a town to put all the businesses on one side of the road
47. Your local golf course has "happy hour" between 1:00 and 2:00 am
48. The seat in your outhouse is lined with styrofoam so your butt won't freeze to it when you have to sit down for a certain amount of time
49. You've had to set your alarm every three hours to go start you car and let it run for 20 minutes so hopefully it will start in the morning so you can go to work
50. Instead of plugging in your freezer, you just move it to the front porch
51. You open your freezer to take out something for dinner, and are faced with many choices: Pink Salmon, Silver Salmon, Red Salmon, King Salmon, Smoked Salmon, or Halibut
52. You can play road hockey on skates
53. You see signs saying Do or do NOT _____ but you never see any law enforcement people
54. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Alaska
(No Offence to Alec)
Some of those are too true
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