How to get a Jahovas witness to go away in 3 mins or less

[screaming_emu]

So I'm in the process of cleaning my apartment and I hear a knock on the door. I answer it and there's 2 old ladies I dont know. "Hi, we're here to share a story from the bible..." I figure, eh wtf, why not. So I stand there, she reads about how God is love or somethin like that. She then starts to talk about how love isn't "the sexual kind we see plastered everywhere nowadays". She starts talking about how the world has become pretty vulgar and such, and I agree.

Meanwhile, I have my ipod hooked up to my computer speakers and I have that blasting away in the background. The current song was some Jack Johnson, but it had just finished up. I had it on shuffle mode, and on comes "just a lil bit" by 50 cent

I believe her words were "oh my..."

[DAL767-400ER]

, gotta remember that. Although "Hustler" and "Candy Shop" should work well, too .

[YYZPICS]

Then she was like WTF? lol

[chrisburns]

Lmao

[expoITHscohen]

why that was good.

I always use the tactic,

"No, but would you like to share the story of the Torah with me?"

[screaming_emu]

why that was good.

I always use the tactic,

"No, but would you like to share the story of the Torah with me?"

yeah, next time I'm gonna answer the door without pants

[TAP-A343]

If you were playing any of your porn movies on your computer even the soundtrack sound would have had a faster result.

Cheers.

[ATLcenter]

Be nice. If you have time on your hands, this is always fun:

Invite them in, listen to their stories, and ask questions.

Then after they're done, lecture them about the Gita for twenty minutes and explain your faith to them. Ask them if they have any questions.

If you don't have time on your hands, the best thing is to answer the door with a condom in your hand.

[screaming_emu]

Be nice. If you have time on your hands, this is always fun:

Invite them in, listen to their stories, and ask questions.

Then after they're done, lecture them about the Gita for twenty minutes and explain your faith to them. Ask them if they have any questions.

If you don't have time on your hands, the best thing is to answer the door with a condom in your hand.

oh, I was nice. This was completely unplanned, which is why it was so damn funny. Lecturing them about my faith would be pretty short as I'm more or less Agnostic.

[FlyingPhotog]

reminds me of this scene from Family Guy...

UPS Woman: Package for Mr. Glen Quagmire.
Quagmire: Thank you.
[walks inside with it, returns naked]
Quagmire: And I've got a package for you. Ooooh riiiight.
[she maces him]
Quagmire: Heh he. I've developed immunity to that stuff.

[screaming_emu]

haha, Quagmire is awesome.

[ATLcenter]

oh, I was nice. This was completely unplanned, which is why it was so damn funny. Lecturing them about my faith would be pretty short as I'm more or less Agnostic.

Well, I got the lecturing thing from experience. My mom accidentally got enrolled in Bible classes by one of them. This woman came, gave the usual song and dance, and my poor mother, who had hearing difficulties, smiled and nodded. Before she knew it, she had Bible classes twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I sat in on one of them, and she flat out insulted Hinduism, which is what my family believes in. Something like, "Your Monkey and Cow won't save you; Jesus will!"

I had it. I lectured her out of the Gita for at least an hour, and she never came back. Serves that nut right.

[Chris@YYZ]

yeah, next time I'm gonna answer the door without pants

LMAO!

[avro_arrow_25206]

haha, Quagmire is awesome.

Haha, Quagmire is a funny word to have for a name!

[ACman]

Tell them you stand up for your National Anthem, and that you like Christmas and your Birthday cause you get presents... They should leave soon enough.