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Welcome to Air Zimbabwe
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.
This is your captain (Boniface) welcoming both seated and standing
passengers on board of Air Zimbabwe.We apologize for the four-day delay
in taking off,
it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the
bakery.
This is flight 126 to Harare.Landing there is not guaranteed, but we
will end up somewhere in Zimbabwe.
If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
Air Zimbabwe has an excellent safety-record.
In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid
to fly with us!
It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this year over 30%
of our passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can
arrange to turn them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable,
we serve complimentary Stella tea and Rambawaraira biscuits!
For our not-so-religious passengers,we are the only airline who can help
you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown
as we forgot to record it from the television.
But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to British
Airways, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the
cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane.Any smoke you see in the
cabin is only the early warning system
on the engines telling us to slow down!In order to catch important
landmarks,we try to fly as close as possible for the best view.
If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know.Our enthusiastic
co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and
fasten your set-belt.
For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt
to the arm of your seat ...
and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in
touch with a stewardess
who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
ENJOY AIR ZIMBABWE!
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