Scaring away clingy girls

[Crunk415balla]

Oh and Chasen...you're crazy. Hillarious, but definately not sane.

I think its best I don't bring this stuff up to my flight instructors, eh?

Oh well, I could have told the second girl I wasn't interested, but this was much more fun.

[scramjet]

There are two types of relationships, those who can fart infront of eachother, and those who cant.

Honestly, the first fart is the most difficult thing in any relationship.

Tell me about that! I've seen husband and wife teams get in contests while others give each other icy looks if something stinks...

[DeltaRules]

Oh god, I live for things like this. Give me a night to think about it and tommorow I'll have the perfect solution. Until then, I'll share one of my experiances with the same problem. I have two, mabey I'll post the other one later. I swear they're true, I do very elaborate things. The second one is probably much funnier, but this one is far more elaborate.

This Idea came from this video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8Nc8RCLy1s
The first was a 13 year old girl who had never really met me. I was on the football team with her brother, and she asked him for my screen name and started telling me step by step everything I did durring each game, which at first was just like having a fan, but then it got weird. She started stalking me, and begging my little brother and all my friends on myspace for my number. After 5 months of this, and being "Mr. Niceguy" telling her politely that I wasn't interested, and that I would probably go to jail for stagitory rape, I decided it was time for a new way of solving the situation. The Chasen way.

I knew this would take something big, and something big is what I did. Her brother was eager to help, so he told me where she walks home from school everyday. I went down to PacSun and bought a girls pink sleeveless shirt and white hotpants, then I supplied two of my friends with a police uniform and a pilot's uniform. A few more of my friends were to dress up as an Indian, a cowboy, the red power ranger, a constuction worker, and a latex outfit complete with spectrum hat and makeup.(I think you see where this is going) Here is a picture of me trying on my new outfit.


I pull up in my grandpa's cadilac in a per-detirmined spot, and wait for her. Surely enough, here she comes, I call her name and she comes over to the car. And she says "Yay! Where are you taking me". I say "Irene, there are a lot of things you don't know about me." "Oh?", she responds. I then start my CD, playing the song from the He-man video, "Whats goin' on"-by Three Non Blondes(techno remix), which is longer and slightly diffrent(but just as homosexual) as the one in the video. For the first part of the song I just sort of bob my head to it and it is obvious she is getting uncomfortable. Then I start singing in the highest voice I could muster up "And so I cry sometimes while I lie in my bed, just to get it all out-what's in my head" at about this point I get out of the car and come skipping around to the sidewalk where she is standing. Then my friends in cop and pilot uniforms come out of the back seat and we all join hands and start dancing in a circle around her singing the song. Once we reached the chorus, my other 5 friends come out of my friend Ryan's Mitsubiti Evolution throwing confetti, and two of them join in on the circle while the rest start jumping around us, one on the hood of the car(no damage done). This went on for a good 2.5 minutes until the chorus came on for the final time and I pulled a giant rainbow flag I bought at an art and wine festivle and went running around the circle holding it behind my back somewhat like a cape. Then we all dove onto the grass(it was right outside of a park) and started wrestling, surprisingly she stood in one place with a very shocked look on her face.(I had expected her to run off as soon as everyone came out) So I grabbed my friend's lipstick and smeared some on my face then got up and looked at her a moment before saying "...I like guys...a lot." She said "My brother said that before...".

Everyone got up as if nothing had happened and drove away, two of my friends got in the cadilac and sat silent just looking out the window and I asked her, "Want a ride home?" She did, so I drove her the block or two, dropped her off, and that was that.

Holy crap.

DeltaRules

[Messerschmitt Man]

Your definately one crazy son of a bitch Crunk415balla

[Paul Maier]

Ive found a wedding ring usually helps my mates out. to my benefit!

[chrisburns]

My Sister was out clubbing one night and this 40 year old man asked her for her number and she told him she was a lesbo.

So tell this girl your (althoguh its not you) gay.

that would really make me want her number for sure... some lesbian action wooot

[Crunk415balla]

Hey Joe, can you be more specific on this situation to help me map out a crazy/elaborate plan?

Your definately one crazy son of a bitch Crunk415balla

Desperate times call for desperate measures. As long as no laws(except mabey litter in the case of the confetti) or limbs are broken, its good clean fun.

[screaming_emu]

Hey Joe, can you be more specific on this situation to help me map out a crazy/elaborate plan?

sure, my friend knew her from living in the same dorm, seemed like a cool enough girl. He hung out with her a couple times this summer, including going to see a movie, not thinking it was developing into anything serious. So late in the summer his parents come to visit him in town, and she asks "so did you tell your parents about me?". So he goes "uhh....no". So its pretty much she wants a long term relationship or whatever, and he doesn't.

[Crunk415balla]

Okie Dokie, when I have the time tonight or tommorow I will type up a plan.

[DeltaRules]

This oughta be good.

DeltaRules

[Crunk415balla]

Ok, assuming that she is madly in love with him, this should do the trick. This is partly taken from "Silence of the Lambs".

He asks her on a date. She says yes. Now for a location, he should take her to a nice resturaunt or something that would be normal on a date. We don't want her to go away just yet. Over the course of the date, he should talk much about his body. Eg. "Do you like this chest? Look at these nipples of mine.(rolls them inbetween fingers) Ya, ya thats it." He should do similar things with his arms, neck, hands, and other parts(above the belt). He should do it enough so that she has a strong feeling that he likes himself more than he should. But he should still put some charm on her, to insure she wants to go back to his place. That is where the fun begins. When he gets back in the car, he should stare into the rearview mirror at him self for 5-10 whole minutes saying to himself how sexy he is. He should also pull over for a few minutes to repeat this durring the trip home. So he takes her home, and we all know what is supposed to happen next. So she goes into the bathroom to get ready, this is when it is time to prepare. Your friend should start playing a club song and strip naked. When she comes out, he is dancing in the mirror, naked, doing the imfamous "tuck in" from the movie, repeating the imfamous line to his reflection. "Would you ### me? I'd #### me. I'd #### me hard." He should then continue dancing until she leaves. Which shouldn't take long. In the end, problem solved, and there is a story to pass down for years.

This is the weirdest thing I could come up with off the top of my head at the moment. Mabey I'll think of something better, but this is possible to do.

[E-Diddy!]

You're at und, just throw her in that cesspond they call a creek that flows through campus. she'll take the hint, or at least you'll have enough time to start chasen's plan while she's in the shower.

[Crunk415balla]

Or you can take her to the creek, throw her in, and THEN do the silence of the lambs dance.

[ptbodale]

I had the same girl problem (many years ago...stop laughing). I made sure a couple of my crazy friends were with me. She stopped hanging around after I told her they had to come on any date with us and if we had sex they would all be participating.

[Chris@YYZ]

I had the same girl problem (many years ago...stop laughing). I made sure a couple of my crazy friends were with me. She stopped hanging around after I told her they had to come on any date with us and if we had sex they would all be participating.