OK gang - it's Friday 14:00 hrs (for me, that is) - the weekend is calling, so I'll leave you with this gem.........
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Liverpool Physics final exam. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the
Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it
as well.
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law
that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go
to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the
volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added. This
gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my
freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you" and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night, then number 2 must be true, thus I am sure that
Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct
leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh
my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Liverpool Physics final exam. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the
Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it
as well.
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law
that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go
to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the
volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added. This
gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my
freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you" and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night, then number 2 must be true, thus I am sure that
Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct
leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh
my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
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