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DEAR WOMEN
List of Rules (Read and print them)
1. From 7 Sep to 20 October 2007, you should read the sports
section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on
regardingthe World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in theconversations.
If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you
Willbe totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, the VCR and DVD
are all mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a
glimpse at the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I
don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without
distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make
sureyou put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have
time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup
month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I
require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your
mindif you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone,
orpick up the baby that just fell from the second floor it won't happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in
the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to
watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between
12pmand 3pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because my team
is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry,
they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me
angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know
moreabout rugby than me and your so called "words of encouragement"
will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can
talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and
onlyif the halftime score is pleasing to me. In addition, please note I am
saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy
excuse to"spend time together".
8. The replays of the tries are very important. I don't care if I
have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many
times, and record them.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child
related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a. I will not go,
b. I will not go, and
c. I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to
watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
youhave already seen this . why don't you change the channel to something
wecan all watch??", the reply will be : "refer to rule #2 of this list"
12. And finally, please save your expressions as "Thank goodness the
World Cup is only ever 4 years". I am immune to these words, because
Afterthis come the Air NZ cup final, super 14 and Tri Nations.
Thank you for your cooperation.
List of Rules (Read and print them)
1. From 7 Sep to 20 October 2007, you should read the sports
section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on
regardingthe World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in theconversations.
If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you
Willbe totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, the VCR and DVD
are all mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a
glimpse at the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I
don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without
distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make
sureyou put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have
time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup
month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I
require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your
mindif you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone,
orpick up the baby that just fell from the second floor it won't happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in
the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to
watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between
12pmand 3pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because my team
is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry,
they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me
angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know
moreabout rugby than me and your so called "words of encouragement"
will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can
talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and
onlyif the halftime score is pleasing to me. In addition, please note I am
saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy
excuse to"spend time together".
8. The replays of the tries are very important. I don't care if I
have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many
times, and record them.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child
related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a. I will not go,
b. I will not go, and
c. I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to
watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
youhave already seen this . why don't you change the channel to something
wecan all watch??", the reply will be : "refer to rule #2 of this list"
12. And finally, please save your expressions as "Thank goodness the
World Cup is only ever 4 years". I am immune to these words, because
Afterthis come the Air NZ cup final, super 14 and Tri Nations.
Thank you for your cooperation.
lovely, we had a similar "bulletin" here in Germany before the WC2006, worked very well 
.
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