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Ok, Rob, here's a funny for you

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    LOL I've heard this one some time ago;

    A lady calls 911 and the following conversation can be heard:
    lady: "Police, there's a naked Pilot in my backyard"
    911: "madam, how do you know he is a pilot?"
    lady: "well he has a huge watch, small dick and just stole my newspaper"

    ...


    And another one:

    How would you know that there is an Air Force pilot at you party ?
    Don't worry, he will tell everyone !

    Leave a comment:


  • JordanD
    replied
    An airline pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
    He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
    The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
    "No,"he replies, "I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it."
    The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
    The pilot explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
    The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
    "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
    The woman giggles and replies: "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
    The pilot smirks, taps his watch and says: "Damn thing's an hour fast."

    Leave a comment:


  • RobinB
    replied
    Dont you just love Rugby and the scrumming sequence we now have to put up with -




    Scrumming will never be the same again - hey, do you think she plays hooker ?
    Last edited by RobinB; 2007-10-03, 08:55.

    Leave a comment:


  • magic48
    replied
    Originally posted by Mungous
    ^ hmmmm....

    On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight... Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blow job." All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"
    old...............but still good

    Leave a comment:


  • Mungous
    replied
    ^ hmmmm....

    On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight... Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blow job." All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"

    Leave a comment:


  • Will M
    replied
    An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

    The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.

    She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

    "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

    The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

    Leave a comment:


  • Star Alliance
    replied
    Originally posted by Crunk415balla
    ...

    Leave a comment:


  • Crunk415balla
    replied
    A woman's three daughters lose their virginities after getting married, and send their mom an ad from a magazine which well-described their first time. The first daughter sent her an add from a chocolate company saying "Short and Sweet." The woman smiled at this. The next daughter sent an add from a beer company saying "Great till the last drop.". At this, the woman smiled, but uncomfortably. Then she recived a letter from her third daughter. It was a British Airways ad.

    "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

    This next one is edgy, but thats life.

    There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea.
    When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.
    "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
    "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"

    Leave a comment:


  • z740
    replied
    all right i couldn't resist.
    There's a bling guy on a flight to Texas and the person sitting next to him tells him about how everything is bigger and better in Texas. When he gets off the plane he goes to his hotell, unpacks, and goes down to the bar. He orders a beer and it comes in a giant mug. He tells the bartender that he is amazed at how big everything is in Texas. He finishes his beer and asks where the rest room is. She tells him to go past the cash registers and take a left, it will be the second door on the left. He walks past the cash registers, turns left, finds the first door with his pole, and keeps on going. He trips up but catches himself but he misses the second door. He walks through the third door falls in the pool and starts yelling, "DON'T FLUSH, DON'T FLUSH"!

    -Chris

    Leave a comment:


  • Will M
    replied
    A police officer is parked outside a bar one night when he sees a drunk man stumble out the door. The man staggers through the parking lot and falls down. He tries his keys in five different cars before getting in and driving off. The cop immediately pulls him over and makes the man take a breathalyser test. The man blows a 0.0.

    "This thing must be broken," The cop says.

    The man responds, "Nope, tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

    Leave a comment:


  • z740
    replied
    Originally posted by RobinB
    so it's time to dig out the funnies again.......
    YEEEEEHAAAWWW!!! hurry up i've been bored with out them!

    -Chris

    Leave a comment:


  • LX-A343
    replied
    Originally posted by RobinB
    Thanks for the funny - have been away (UK) and it's just been quarter end at work, so it's time to dig out the funnies again.......
    YEEEEAH! Bring them now! GO! GO! GO!

    Leave a comment:


  • RobinB
    replied
    Originally posted by Star Alliance
    I figure since you're always posting jokes, I'd give you a break and just let you laugh for once.
    ha, ha - yes "I'll see yooze, Jimmy" !

    Thanks for the funny - have been away (UK) and it's just been quarter end at work, so it's time to dig out the funnies again.......

    Leave a comment:


  • JordanD
    replied
    Originally posted by ptbodale
    Pretty good Jordan.

    Bono is such a hypocrite anyway, demanding countries give more in foreighn aid, but he move his head office so he would pay less taxes.
    I'm always skeptical of anybody with that much money who's always urging other people to give more. But if it makes people care about an issue I guess it doesn't really matter.

    Leave a comment:


  • ptbodale
    replied
    Pretty good Jordan.

    Bono is such a hypocrite anyway, demanding countries give more in foreighn aid, but he move his head office so he would pay less taxes.

    Leave a comment:

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