Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Let's help Brad recognize a woman

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Let's help Brad recognize a woman

    Our young colleague Brad apparently was unable to recognize one of our forum members, who is known as "Cindy" and whose posts are often populated with ribald tales written from a female perspective, as a woman. This fundamental difficulty in identifying genders could lead to embarrassing social situations, and future sociopathy.

    I would like to call upon the forum to provide Brad with any tips and pointers that may help Brad identify a woman when he sees one. They may take any form you choose, whether textual, graphical or auditory.

    Thanks to all of you, I think Brad will have a successful future in dating. Once he figures out what a woman is.

    Regards, Dr. Sigmund von Verbal

  • #2
    Women sit when you stand, Brad.
    Per
    Ancient Mariner
    Certified above and below...................sea level.

    Comment


    • #3
      A woman will be on her cell-phone, even if she is performing open-heart surgery.

      Comment


      • #4
        This whole thing is the result of a misunderstanding. Brad's surprised remark - "Wow I thought you were a guy" - was posted to JP.net inadvertently. It was intended for the adjacent AdultFriendFinder IM window on his desktop.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by TheRealAncientMarine
          Women sit when you stand, Brad.
          Per
          What if he had been brought up to sit down instead of leaving his marks all over the show?
          warning: this post may contain traces of irony.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by el
            What if he had been brought up to sit down instead of leaving his marks all over the show?
            Then he should sue the shirt off his parents back for cruel and unusual treatment!
            Per
            Ancient Mariner
            Certified above and below...................sea level.

            Comment


            • #7
              Although an IM conversation with a "woman" from the internet might suggest otherwise, this is deffinetly not a woman.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Airbus_A320
                Although an IM conversation with a "woman" from the internet might suggest otherwise, this is deffinetly not a woman.
                I'm confused, I can see breasts.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Treat (and recognize) women as HazMat, (check http://environmentalchemistry.com/yogi/hazmat/placards/ ).

                  Taking it from there employing Wikipedia and Google, all falls into place easily:

                  HazMat Data Sheet

                  1. Analysis

                  1.1 Element: Woman
                  1.2 Discoverer: Adam
                  1.3 Mass: Supposedly 55kg, but Heisenberg found out that when observed vary from 45kg to 225kg
                  1.4 Occurrence: More common in urban areas with trace elements in outlying regions.


                  2. Physical Properties

                  2.1 Surface normally covered with film of powder and paint.
                  2.2 Boils at absolutely nothing, freezes for no apparent reason.
                  2.3 Melts if given special treatment.
                  2.4 Turns bitter after extended time of use.
                  2.5 Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore.
                  2.6 Yields to pressure if expertly applied.


                  3. Chemical Properties

                  3.1 High affinity to gold, silver, platinum and all precious stones.
                  3.2 Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
                  3.3 Explodes spontaneously without apparent reason or warning.
                  3.4 Greatly increased activity when saturated with alcohol.
                  3.5 The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.


                  4. Common Use

                  4.1 Highly ornamental.
                  4.2 Great aid to relaxation.
                  4.3 Very effective cleaning agent.


                  5. Tests (this should help you serieously, Brad!)

                  5.1 Specimens found in the U.S.A. turn bright pink when found in their natural state.
                  5.2 Turns unhealthy green when placed alongside similar specimen.


                  6. Hazards:

                  6.1 HIGHLY DANGEROUS except in experienced hands.
                  6.2 Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other.

                  Hope that helps,

                  Rattler
                  AD.info? Rings a bell somehow...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    .....here you go Brad.......especially for you....



                    .....a fine example of womenhood.....

                    TDU
                    I have my own little world.....but it's okay......they know me here

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Airbus_A320
                      Chasen, about fifty years from now.

                      -Chris

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by z740
                        Chasen, about fifty years from now.

                        -Chris
                        Why'd he eat Jordan?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Bok269
                          Why'd he eat Jordan?
                          I couldn't think of anyone else to say it was...so Chasen was the first one that popped into mind. Chasen, I was only kidding.

                          -Chris

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Airbus_A320
                            Although an IM conversation with a "woman" from the internet might suggest otherwise, this is deffinetly not a woman.
                            Thanks for the tip.
                            ADC Refugee

                            Click here to view my aircraft photos at JetPhotos.Net!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Thunder Down Under
                              .....here you go Brad.......especially for you....



                              .....a fine example of womenhood.....

                              TDU
                              Now where'd you get my personal picture of Verbal's wife?
                              ADC Refugee

                              Click here to view my aircraft photos at JetPhotos.Net!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X