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  • Braai (BBQ) Rules

    Braai RULES - OK, you non South African's - "Braai" is our word for a BBQ.

    We will soon enter the summer and the Braai season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking that a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

    When a man volunteers to do the Braai the following chain of events are put into motion:

    Routine...

    1: The woman buys the food.
    2: The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
    3: The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

    Here comes the important part:

    4: THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

    More routine....

    5: The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
    6: The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

    Important again:

    7: THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

    More routine....

    8: The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
    9: After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

    And most important of all:

    10: Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
    11: The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
    RobB


  • #2
    Beer in hand? Thought a Gin&Tonic was more like it...
    "The real CEO of the 787 project is named Potemkin"

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Alessandro
      Beer in hand? Thought a Gin&Tonic was more like it...
      That's what those English pansies drink - we stick to lager
      RobB

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      • #4
        Originally posted by RobinB
        That's what those English pansies drink - we stick to lager
        Amazing how your example gets along with just one Castle...
        warning: this post may contain traces of irony.

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        • #5
          Hahahaha that's hilarious!! I'm flying to Cape Town tomorrow night and so I plan on having a braai Sunday afternoon. After reading this I should probably familiarize my gf with the appropriate roules first.....

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          • #6
            That's what those English pansies drink - we stick to lager
            Lager ! You call bloody LAGER a beer !!

            Now then...if it was a proper REAL ale, like Abbott, Bishops Finger, 6X, Owd' Roger, Ruddles County etc. then you'd be talking.

            Only poofs drink lager and call it beer.
            Last edited by brianw999; 2008-02-08, 16:14.
            If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

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            • #7
              Brian, believe it or not, I agree with you. I am very partial to Eglish bitter and Guinness - but a Widhoek Lager or Draft is also "verrrry nice"
              RobB

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              • #8
                Agree with you too Rob....and in case anyone gets the wrong idea, it's all tongue in cheek.

                There's nothing wrong with poofs, I tried one once.

                (Oh shit, what am I saying ?)
                If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

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