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Blonde jokes

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  • Blonde jokes

    Q: Why do men like blonde jokes??
    A: Because they can understand them.

    Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
    A: Because they can spell it.

    Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
    A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

    Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who
    hits the ground first?
    A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

    Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
    A: Last years hide and go seek winner.

    Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
    A: A whine cellar.

    Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
    A: Air bubbles.

    Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
    A: A dope ring.

    Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher
    A: A visitor.

    Q: What does a blonde owl say?
    A: What, what?

    Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
    A: To see what was on the other side.

    Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
    A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
    If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

  • #2
    LMAO tell that to my gf and Im never gettin laid again..

    There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

    The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

    Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

    Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

    The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

    Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.


    A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

    As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

    Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

    To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

    My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

    A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
    "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
    "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
    "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
    "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
    "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."


    • #3
      A new paint:

      Blonde, not very bright, fades easily, and is easy to spread
      You've got to try to find what's right before your eyes-Finger Eleven


      • #4
        A Blonde deserves a first class seat!

        A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

        The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

        The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
        Inactive from May 1 2009.


        • #5
          How do you know when a blonde secretary has been using Microsoft Word ?

          Tippex correction fluid on the monitor screen !
          If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !