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The ABC of European Aviation

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  • The ABC of European Aviation

    AirBus--Leading maker of A-320 aircraft using cheap Chinese labour funded through European subsidy.

    Boeing-The penultimate aircraft maker of the world. Often copied but never duplicated by Airbus

    Cheap composites, Caveman, Composite Craker Box--The "three C's" of the French manufacture process.

    Douglas--Later known as McDonnell Douglas. In a Coup De'tat sold AirBus the stillborne MD-12 concept who then developed it into the A-380 debacle.

    EADS--Owner of Airbus, who choose to invovle themselves in illegal trade practices, stock manipulations and bribery along with a few A-380 sales.

    Frenchman--The people who invented the French Curve, Beret, and Citroen and also fancy themselves as aircraft designers. Favorite sport: bicycles Bicycle Champion: Lance Armstrong.

    Germans--The only people who had the will to stop all the French Tomfoolery.

    Helicopter--Another mode of transportation dominated by Americans.

    Insurance--Often portrayed in the USA as being so easy to buy a Caveman could do it. Needed when booking a flight where the type aircraft has a cheap composite tail section.

    Jet Engine--Conceptually designed by the British and Germans, perfected by Americans.

    Korean War--Interesting fact, the last time an American soldier was killed by a hostile aircraft. Since this time American Air Superiority has been so dominant enemy aircraft have not killed a ground trouper.

    LeDuc--French research aircraft with seven afterburner. Sadly it only had a 10 minute flight time after being towed aloft and released before gliding to landing.

    Midway--While giving new built aircraft to Russia and Britian, bombing out the Germans during daylight hours, the French Navy singly handedly destroyed the Japanese combined Fleet in the Pacific leading to Japans ultimate defeat. Actually it was the Americans who did all this, but if the French hadn't surrendered so quickly to teh Germans it probably never would have happened.

    North America--The place the Euro looks when needing help on any aspect of the thing called aviation.

    Operating Cost--Cost of operating a given airframe, new standard: Boeing 787

    Pitot Tubes, Pilots--What every Airbus crash is blamed upon.

    Quality Control--See letter "C".

    Rafale--A modern French combat aircraft designed in the 1980's to dominate all 1960 era aircraft.

    SST--French thrill ride gone wrong.

    Turbulance--See letter "P"

    Utilization Rate--A commercial aviation performance measurement of how reliable a piece of equipment. Take a shocking look at the new A-380.

    Vertical Speed--Good going up, not so good going down.

    Weather--Something to avoid if your airplane is equipped with a cheap composite tail.

    X Planes--The designation of the most successful series of research aircraft the world has ever seen. Made in America.

    Yoke--Something so successful the French decided to replace it with a false feedback sidestick.

    Zulu--What every French aviator sets his watch to when flying in Africa.

  • #2
    Brill-yunt!

    Comment


    • #3
      Yes,the Americans have now even managed to have longer delays and much bigger design failures then the frenchman

      Comment


      • #4
        Just you wait....one day:







        Besides, I still like the French women....

        Last edited by Vnav; 2009-10-01, 22:41.
        Parlour Talker Extraordinaire

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        • #5
          Boeing-The penultimate aircraft maker of the world. Often copied but never duplicated by Airbus.

          ...but unable to make the 787 fly.

          Douglas--Later known as McDonnell Douglas. In a Coup De'tat sold AirBus the stillborne MD-12 concept who then developed it into the A-380 debacle.

          ...sorry, how many A380's are there in service ?....and remind me again, how many 787's are in service ?

          EADS--Owner of Airbus, who choose to invovle themselves in illegal trade practices, stock manipulations and bribery along with a few A-380 sales.

          ...unlike Boeing who would never cry "foul" to congress when Airbus beat them in a fair bidding process for Air/Air refuellers...and then pressurise the american politicians to reverse the contract decision ??#

          Frenchman--The people who invented the French Curve, Beret, and Citroen and also fancy themselves as aircraft designers. Favorite sport: bicycles Bicycle Champion: Lance Armstrong.

          ...you forgot "World Leaders in White Flag Manufacture" !

          Helicopter--Another mode of transportation dominated by Americans.

          ...remind me again, which helicopter has been chosen for the Presidential fleet ? Oh yes, the Lockheed Martin VH71...the $110-million bird is derived from a European-built AgustaWestland EH101.

          Insurance--Often portrayed in the USA as being so easy to buy a Caveman could do it. Needed when booking a flight where the type aircraft has a cheap composite tail section.

          ...or a malfunctioning rudder hydraulic actuator ?

          Korean War--Interesting fact, the last time an American soldier was killed by a hostile aircraft. Since this time American Air Superiority has been so dominant enemy aircraft have not killed a ground trouper.

          Q. What's green, brown and/or grey and kills British ground troops ?

          A. American airforce/army/marines aircraft !!

          Operating Cost--Cost of operating a given airframe, new standard: Boeing 787

          ....which....um....er...isn't ACTUALLY operating yet !!


          Just a few observations...your turn !!!



          P.S. Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Falklands War ?



          A. We won the Falklands War !
          If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Vnav View Post
            Just you wait....one day:



            A terrifying photoshop.

            The implication that the leader of the free world would approach a thunderstorm in an aircraft with a cheap composite tail.
            Les règles de l'aviation de base découragent de longues périodes de dur tirer vers le haut.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
              B
              Oh calm down their mate...don't be sore still for that stomping we gave you back in 1783.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by tommyalf View Post
                Oh calm down their mate...don't be sore still for that stomping we gave you back in 1783.
                I had an idea who might pull that one up....

                .....I wasn't disappointed.

                If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
                  I had an idea who might pull that one up....

                  .....I wasn't disappointed.

                  LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

                  I seriously just laughed my ass off! LOL

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by tommyalf View Post
                    Oh calm down their mate...don't be sore still for that stomping we gave you back in 1783.
                    Wasn't there also a similar "stomping" in 1812?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Perhaps under the better "B" we could include a Frenchman by the name of Pierre Blanchard.
                      A while ago I briefly explained the difference between a pilot and an aviator. Pierre was neither. He was an aeronaut. What is the difference between an aviator and an aeronaut you ask? Not much. Like an aviator, an aeronaut has the courage and will to boldly go where no one has gone before but unlike an aviator he has no clue what so ever as to what is he doing. Why? Because no one has done it before him. The aeronauts that lived long enough passed their experience to the younger generation and hance aviators were born.

                      Back to Pierre. He designed what he called an aerostat. Basically speaking a hydrogen filled balloon but unlike may others his beneath the gas bag sported an umbrella-like parachute from which hung a gondola. Should the bag burst, he would safely float to earth, at least that was the theory which fortunately was never put to the test.

                      It was this very idea that evolved to what we know today as the Ballistic Parachute.

                      Pierre deserves further attention but I'm a little busy at the moment so perhaps later today or tomorrow, as I still have to do some reasearch to refresh my memory on the details of his achievements.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Learn more about the French in WW2: http://www.112gripes.com/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You could also Google "French Military Victories".....and have a little smile at the first result

                          Pardonnez moi, le voices made me do it. Luv ya really.
                          If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

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