Don Rumsfeld died and presented himself at the Pearly Gates. Now St Peter was tied up on a call for some time and good ole Don, after overcoming his initial annoyance at not being dealt with at once, took to looking around. His eye was taken by a vast array of clocks going back as far as the eye could see. Some were going round very slowly, others faster and some were going round in excess of 50 rpm.
Two clocks weren't moving at all and were surrounded by a gold shield.
Eventually St Peter pays Don some attention. "Before we start" says Don, "just what are all those clocks?"
They're lie clocks" answers St Pete.
"Lie clocks? What do they do?"
"Everyone has a lie clock", says the Keeper of the Keys "and every time a lie is told that person's clock moves forward 1/60th of the circumference"
I see" says Don "and those two in the shield, why are they there?"
"The one on the left has never moved" says St Pete, "that's Mother Theresa's".
"And the one on the right?"
"That only ever moved twice and belongs to Abraham Lincoln"
" I see" says Don, "does George W Bush have a lie clock?"
"Of course"
"I don't see it"
"That's because Jesus has it in his office"
"Quite right" says Don, "such a man is obviously so good the Lord will want to observe his righteousness"
"Oh its not that" says St Peter, " the air conditioning failed yesterday and Jesus needed a fan"
Two clocks weren't moving at all and were surrounded by a gold shield.
Eventually St Peter pays Don some attention. "Before we start" says Don, "just what are all those clocks?"
They're lie clocks" answers St Pete.
"Lie clocks? What do they do?"
"Everyone has a lie clock", says the Keeper of the Keys "and every time a lie is told that person's clock moves forward 1/60th of the circumference"
I see" says Don "and those two in the shield, why are they there?"
"The one on the left has never moved" says St Pete, "that's Mother Theresa's".
"And the one on the right?"
"That only ever moved twice and belongs to Abraham Lincoln"
" I see" says Don, "does George W Bush have a lie clock?"
"Of course"
"I don't see it"
"That's because Jesus has it in his office"
"Quite right" says Don, "such a man is obviously so good the Lord will want to observe his righteousness"
"Oh its not that" says St Peter, " the air conditioning failed yesterday and Jesus needed a fan"
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