Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Funniest or dumbest thing said to you on an airplane/airport

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Funniest or dumbest thing said to you on an airplane/airport

    What's the funniest, oddest, or dumbest thing you have heard or had said to you on an airplane?

    Some examples:

    My oddest experience:

    As I was taking a photo of our BA 777 to LHR, a year ago. A person sitting a few seats away from the window, asks me if I have been on this flight before. I said "yes" she exclaimed that you must know that this plane stops in New York before continuing onto LHR. I said, "No, this flight is a non-stop flight directly from Denver to London." She exclaimed that's preposterous, "No passenger jet has that kind of range and on two engines, yeah right!" I said that this jet is capable of doing 14-15 hour non-stops and she said "Yeah right" and that we will stop in NY, before continuing to London. The same lady freaked out in the gate when she heard the alarm of the catering truck pulling away. When the BA flight attendants tried to comfort her, she fought with them.

    Unfortunately, she was in my row 2 seats away from me and you should have seen the horror on her face when we were crossing the Atlantic w/o stopping. After we arrived in LHR and I was getting my bag, she said, "Well, young man you were correct!"

    Most annoying experience: My seat mate from LHR to India got a hard piece of Lentil, thinking that it was a stone he threw a huge fit with the F/As. He couldn't pronounce Red Label clearly I had him screaming in my ear for about 5 minutes, saying "Read Labeell" repeatedly, I had to tell him to stop screaming in my ear. I politely told the F/A that he wants a Red Label and the F/A complied.

    He then asked to borrow a pen and I gave him the pilot V5 liquid ink pen I had. The first thing box says, "Never SHAKE this pen." Guess what he does, he shakes the pen repeatedly then get mad at me for giving a bad pen and that he now has so much blue ink running down his hand. A WTF moment if there ever was one.

    Funniest things F/A or pilots have said:

    United Airlines: After the Gate Gourmet truck forgot to load the pretzels, only loading the snack boxes and we had to wait for another 15 minutes. The head flight attendant, "due to the catering truck driver not getting his daily dose of Starbucks he has forgotten to load our pretzels packets. Ah, the joys of outsourcing. Since you chose United, everyone on this flight will be able to fully fill their daily requirement of Starbucks coffee."

    On Lufthansa after the mechanics further broke the cargo door trying to fix it: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some very good news, our highly qualified mechanics apparently haven't been able to apply their knowledge and have broken the cargo door even further! We appreciate your patience, but mine is about over.

    Regards,

    Rohan

  • #2
    Over the years I had alot of stupid stuff said to me, but the one that happened most often was when people would walk thru doors that have "Delta Air Lines Baggage Service Office" printed on them and see my two different ID's that read "Delta" and I am standing behind a counter that has "Delta Air Lines" signage and in front of a 3'x8' foot sign that reads "Delta Air Lines" and they would say one of two things - "do you work for Delta?" or "is this XYZ airlines?"

    Comment


    • #3
      I had a really rude American FA with "Oh Miss" on her name tag. I had another beyond rude FA that bitched me out for asking for wine because I was in the last row and she had to walk all the way to the forward galley to get it (after pitching it on the PA.)

      Comment


      • #4
        There was a KLM pilot on the Jeddah - London route who, on landing at Heathrow came over the PA with "Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Heathrow...for the expat workers on board, welcome back to the 20th century".

        Rumour has it that his career with KLM didn't last a lot longer.
        If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

        Comment


        • #5
          On a BA flight from Gatwick to Barcelona cant remeber the exact words, but pretty much :-
          "Ladies and Gentlemen this is your Captain speaking. I know many of you may have more experience watching the safety video than I have, but I can asure you I have more experience practicing emergency evacuations than you have. And in this game when you are put on the spot, you'll find that ask the audience wont work as they are vanishing, you're mobiles are of course turned off, so you can't phone a friend and I'm sure you dont want to gamble your life on a 50 50, so if you could pay attention to it again, in the unlikely event that we do have to evacuate the aircraft, you'll be sure of your final answer."
          ADCR
          Tongue tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit

          Comment


          • #6
            FRA, Summer 1998, just after sunset. A DHC-8 is climbing up to its destination. After a while ATCs of FRA departure could hear:
            "Ladies and gentlemen, your captain's speaking. On behalf of ****...our flight to *****".... all of the public adress was to be heared on the radio.
            After his speech, another pilot said "Thank you for your information. But we have our own plane!"
            "Yeah, thank's!" another crew replied.
            "What's the matter? The captain asked.
            "You've made your public addresss on this radio frequency!" another pilot explained.
            "Hum... was just exercising..." the pilot replied.
            After a while an ATC came to word and instructed the pilot of the Dash:
            "For more entertainment contact Duesseldorf on 118.70! Goodbye!"


            get FRA spotting informations here:
            www.Frankfurt-Aviation-Friends.eu

            Comment


            • #7
              One time a stupid idiot kid was sitting in my window seat when I went from LAX-ONT on United Express, I had to go in the cockpit and ask the pilot to remove him to his proper seat. The mother gave me a hard time. They left behind a book and I took it.
              Bujuraj Vataranjan-O'Malley

              Comment


              • #8
                Apparently heard over the tower frequency at a US airport where there was a long queue taxiing to the active for departure....

                Unknown pilot... "I'm f*****g bored now !"

                Tower..............."Aircraft calling on this frequency, identify yourself"

                Unknown pilot...."I said I'm f*****g bored, not f*****g stupid !!"
                If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
                  Apparently heard over the tower frequency at a US airport where there was a long queue taxiing to the active for departure....

                  Unknown pilot... "I'm f*****g bored now !"

                  Tower..............."Aircraft calling on this frequency, identify yourself"

                  Unknown pilot...."I said I'm f*****g bored, not f*****g stupid !!"
                  Like it!

                  Paul
                  Seeing the world with a 3:2 aspect ratio...

                  My images on Flickr

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Not said to me but overheard, scene drunk British man with Rayban glasses on a packed Air India B747 on the tarmac in India during the first Kuwait war 1991.
                    All passengers had to point out their baggage before entering they aircraft, bags being stored on
                    the tarmac, a few bags left to be pointed out and holding up the plane.
                    The drunk Brit peeking out of the airplane window,-look, my bags on the tarmac.
                    I can assure you that the predominatly Indian passengers and I sitting in the crammed,
                    hot and humid B747 weren´t too impressed by him...
                    "The real CEO of the 787 project is named Potemkin"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      "I have a bomb."
                      Your Forum Friend

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
                        There was a KLM pilot on the Jeddah - London route who, on landing at Heathrow came over the PA with "Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Heathrow...for the expat workers on board, welcome back to the 20th century".

                        Rumour has it that his career with KLM didn't last a lot longer.
                        KLM flies Jeddah-London?
                        Trump is an idiot!
                        Vote Democrats!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Chris Kilroy View Post
                          KLM flies Jeddah-London?
                          They used to. It originated in Sanaa, Yemen, stopped at Jeddah and continued on to London. This would have been 1992 if I remember correctly.

                          EDIT. Just realised my typo. It was of course Sanaa - Jeddah - Schiphol. I continued on to London on a KLM feeder.
                          If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hall of fame from Ryanair crew you decide which is more amusing.
                            Number One
                            FR536 Dublin - East Midlands Senior Cabin Crew Called Andrea
                            "Ladies and Gentlemen we have taken the airport by surprise landing so early, so will be waiting a few minutes for the buses"

                            FR535 East Midlands Dublin Captain Dave Lesley
                            "In a few moments the cabin crew will be displaying a safety demonstration this information is for your benefit not because the cabin crew wish to wave there arms around for two and a half minutes"

                            RT

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
                              They used to. It originated in Sanaa, Yemen, stopped at Jeddah and continued on to London. This would have been 1992 if I remember correctly.

                              EDIT. Just realised my typo. It was of course Sanaa - Jeddah - Schiphol. I continued on to London on a KLM feeder.
                              So then they didn't used to?
                              Trump is an idiot!
                              Vote Democrats!!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X