Not a joke...for once !

[brianw999]

Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of

'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
HIJACK AN AIRLINER
and win
A COUNCIL HOUSE !
We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
The British Taxpayer.
And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and you only need one word of English:
'ASYLUM'
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging, burgling and
accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone
buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused- reasonable or unreasonable.
All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:
'ASYLUM'
A few years ago, 140 members of a Taliban family from Afghanistanwere flown Goat Class from Kabulto our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury
£200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.
They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain......
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Doverand the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience
Just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help - FREE
It won't cost you a penny.
It could change your life forever.
So play today.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil Tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...the list is endless
EVERYONE IS WELCOME - INCLUDING ALL YOUR OWN WIVES AND CHILDREN
COME ON DOWN !

Get along to the airport !
Get along to the lorry park !
Get along to the ferry terminal !
Don't stop in Germanyor France!
All European countries will willingly speed you on your way !
Come straight to Britain
And you are:
**** GUARANTEED ****
to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.
Everyone's a winner, when they play
'ASYLUM'

PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAXPAYER YOU KNOW !

[tommyalf]

Brian forgive my asking, but what is this about? I can only assume the British Gov't is giving asylum to a not so upstanding member of soceity?

[brianw999]

Brian forgive my asking, but what is this about? I can only assume the British Gov't is giving asylum to a not so upstanding member of soceity?

Incorrect Tom.

Not a (singular) member of society.

Thousands of them. !!!

(The "Hijack an Airliner" comment refers to the incident some years ago when some Afghans hijacked an Afghan Ariana B727 and landed at London Stansted. Despite being declared "illegal" they're still here taking taxpayers money for absolutely nothing in return).
Someone recently proposed painting this on the white cliffs over Dover. I'm not particularly racist, but enough is enough. Our own deserving, less well off people are being denied housing assistance even though they've previously paid their taxes, yet any illegal immigrant gets more favourable conditions than our own people. Enough is enough...

[Removed image that was stretching the page -CK]

[tommyalf]

I can't say I blame you for your feelings Brian as the U.S has its own problems with illegal’s streaming in from Mexico and from a less extent the Islands. The fact here in the U.S that many Liberals ignore is the percent of illegal’s who commit felony crimes is far higher then immigrants that enter the country through legal means. We can't build a wall fast enough to keep these people out from Mexico. The ones who try to come in from Cuba and Haiti generally Darwinate themselves in the seas on their way over which saves us some trouble.

[tommyalf]

Despite efforts to consistently divide the population into Liberals and Conservatives, the issue is complicated, and there are many positions along the spectrum. Really, we have two issues: how do we stop illegal immigrants from entering the country, and what do we do with the immigrants who have entered illegally up to now? Most people would agree that the tide of illegal immigrants must be stemmed, though they may disagree as to how that is best achieved. As to the second point, at one extreme you have those who think illegal immigrants should all be rooted out and sent back (probably next to impossible at this point), and those who support complete amnesty at the other extreme. In the middle, you have some sort of selection process involved as to who remains and who is deported (such as whether they have a job, whether they have legal family members here, how long they have been here, whether they have a clean record - other than their means of entry - etc.). You also have to determine a way to implement the process.

The Hispanic population is already the largest minority in the country, and growing rapidly. It is a fact of America. Personally, I love much of what they bring by way of culture; many Hispanics merely face the same challenges as any lower-income population. We all came here from somewhere.

I can't speak to the problem in Britain, but I assume there's another side to the story that Brian's post does not provide.

You’re mixing two different things here. Simply because they bring their own culture to this country which I have no issues (in fact I had Mexican for lunch, they make a good burrito) with doesn't mean its right for them to be here. One of the best ways to cut them off is to put harsh fines on company's caught willfully employing illegals. They don't help our economy since they don't pay taxes and send most of their money back across the boarder and they've also contributed to wage stagnation in the U.S. The one thing the recession has proven is just this. Cut off the jobs and they stay put.

[SYDCBRWOD]

I can't say I blame you for your feelings Brian as the U.S has its own problems with illegal’s streaming in from Mexico and from a less extent the Islands. The fact here in the U.S that many Liberals ignore is the percent of illegal’s who commit felony crimes is far higher then immigrants that enter the country through legal means. We can't build a wall fast enough to keep these people out from Mexico. The ones who try to come in from Cuba and Haiti generally Darwinate themselves in the seas on their way over which saves us some trouble.

Hang on - I thought you guys dominate all the sealanes - that nothing on the surface (or indeed under) the seas can travel without being watched by the USN? Do you make an exception for the seas closest to CONUS?

[Princess Leia]

You’re mixing two different things here. Simply because they bring their own culture to this country which I have no issues (in fact I had Mexican for lunch, they make a good burrito)

That is in fact where you are wrong, my friend.

"Good Mexican food" is an oxymoron.

[tommyalf]

Hang on - I thought you guys dominate all the sealanes - that nothing on the surface (or indeed under) the seas can travel without being watched by the USN? Do you make an exception for the seas closest to CONUS?

You didn't read what I wrote. They tend Darwinate themselves so resources can be deployed elsewhere.

[Deadstick]

You didn't read what wrote. They tend Darwinate themselves so recourses can be deployed elsewhere.

Drunk? This early?

[tommyalf]

Drunk? This early?

Bit buzzed..yes

[Princess Leia]

This early? it's nearly 7!

[tommyalf]

This early? it's nearly 7!

No its about 9 now, started with some vodka and tonic about 5, you know predinner drink...Chopin was about empty so I had to finish it. Then moved on to some nice red i picked up in Italy.

[Princess Leia]

Ahh, I'm about to start on Guinness #3, and the night is still young, 7:22.

[tommyalf]

Ahh, I'm about to start on Guinness #3, and the night is still young, 7:22.

You are a stronger man then me..even if you may be a woman...I can't do Guinness...drink up!

[Princess Leia]

Dear administrators: is there any way we can resize Brian's pics so we don't have to scroll l/r to read the posts?