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Good old Aussie's....

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  • Good old Aussie's....

    I like discretion, tact...making the most...


    A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.

    The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?"

    The young man answered, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo."

    The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job.

    His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it.

    After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, "OK, so how many sales did you make today?"

    The Aussie said, "One!"

    The manager groaned and continued, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"


    The manager choked and exclaimed: "124,23764!! What the hell did you sell him?"

    "Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook and then I sold him a new fishing rod."

    "Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat So we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Power Cat."

    "Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x4."

    The manager, incredulous, said, "You mean to tell me... a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4?"

    "No, no, no... he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend and I said... 'Well, since your weekend's buggered, you might as well go fishing.'


    And then.......

    An Aussie trucker walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown
    emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

    The trucker says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.

    A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment..

    The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says,
    'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'

    Again the trucker reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

    This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

    'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.

    Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

    Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

    The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

    'Well, love' says the trucker, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

    'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

    'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man. The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'

    The trucker sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'
    Last edited by brianw999; 2009-10-20, 19:30.
    If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

  • #2

    My photos on Flickr


    • #3
      Toyota did a series of funny TV ads a few years back:

      this commercial shows just how powerful the hilux truck really is. bugger! it's very very funny!

      Recently they have a new theme - a little more subtle but nearly as funny. The Toyota 4wd is a bit of a bush or outback institution - reliable, solid and capable you see the damn things everywhere in the country. This ad is having a 'go' at all the city slickers in their 'softroaders'...


      • #4
        I'm offended.
        My Flickr Pictures! Click Me!