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Facts about Penguins...

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  • Facts about Penguins...

    This is my true but little known thought of the day.





    Penguins



    Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?

    Wonder no more!!!



    It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.



    The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.



    If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.



    The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:........















    ......."Freeze a jolly good fellow."






















    "Then they kick him in the ice hole."



    You didnít really believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?






    If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !


  • #2
    That's exactly how I want my funeral service to be.

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    • #3
      Thanks Brian! Indeed, I always wondered why there the dead penguins were gone ....

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      • #4
        Brian, do you have children?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by SYDCBRWOD View Post
          Brian, do you have children?
          Yes...they're just as daft as I am !!!
          If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

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          • #6
            Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
            Yes...they're just as daft as I am !!!
            The holiays must be a riot at your place Brian.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
              Yes...they're just as daft as I am !!!
              Have you ever come across this?

              The following short quiz consists of four questions and predicts whether you are qualified to be a "professional".

              1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?


              . . . . . The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.


              This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

              2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

              .. . . . . . Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.

              Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

              This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.

              3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

              .. . . . . . . Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.

              This tests your memory.

              OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.

              4. There is a river you must cross, but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?

              .. . . . . Correct Answer: Swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.

              This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

              According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.





              All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last (Marcel Proust)

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              • #8
                Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
                Yes...they're just as daft as I am !!!
                Thought so, these are the types of joke that I torture my sons with now and then . They call them BDJ's (Bad Dad Jokes), you know when one has reached this status when you get a half smile with the collective groans from the boys .

                Thanks - this one got the requisite groans/smiles.

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                • #9
                  When I vist the UK I buy a load of Penquins from Sainsbury's to feed to my staff of aerospace engineers.

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