Banned from the Co-op

[pdeboer]

I do not care if it were for real or not, just keep them coming Robin, I always find your jokes great

cheers, Pamela

[RobinB]

Hi team - posts that have a green grinning smiley attached = JOKE. Not old enough to have retired or be an OAP.

[Deadstick]

Well, it's a great joke anyway.

[PMN]

One word... BRILLIANT!

[Shanwick]

If the sequence of events are as you say Rob you are very
No scrap that you should be on stage.
David

[brianw999]

Bloody brilliant

[Jose Luis Silva]

I would like A LOT to see her face!!!

[LX-A343]

Almost spit my coffee over the whole keyboard and monitor!!!! ROFLMAO!

[RobinB]

Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op.