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  • The Royal Wedding

    OK, nobody else sems to be saying anything about the wedding of William Windsor and Katherine Middleton, Now I don't want to upset anybody, you know, say the wrong thing or anything, but if I was a Knight of the Garter, a Marshall of the Royal Airforce or whatever he is and second in line to the throne behind Bigears I could have done better than that. Her thighs are thinner than Julia Roberts', for chrissakes. I remember when his Uncle Andrew, Bigears' brother, was getting married to that damned shop girl, the Guardian was doing jokes about Donkey Bollocks. If you had the fast cars, the big income, the retinue, would you not hold out, keeping your screaming-for-it bollocks in abeyance until you found a woman with a real nice ass, good thighs, a totally beautiful face, good skin? Don't tell me you would fall in love with some tired old deb with thin lips and thighs like a telegraph pole because I would have to slap you to wake you up. In any case, lets be honest gentlemen, he's been shagging her silly all the time, has he not? And because he is such a doofus with women and has been sexually snared, he's now got to marry her. Of course, I do understand how it is when you've been to a private school, had the whole royal family bullshit reality drummed into you until you really think you believe it, your mind becomes numb, you live in a sort of fugue state where presence of mind has been banished and your ability to select your partner has been honed down to a pre-programmed idea. The trouble is, nobody stays fugued forever. We can expect another long song and dance about is he seeing another woman, Katherin Middleton wants a divorce (oh, oh, he doesn't love me) crap and damnation in the Sun, The Mirror, The Daily Express etc. I give it about a year before the gossip starts. Just about enough time to get the third-in-line to the throne planted. My feeling generally is: poor bloke.

    So you go ahead and celebrate, by all means, just count me out, I'm fed-up to the back teeth with false enthusiasm, soap-opera reporting and the fawning pathos of our sycophantic prime minister. We don't keep a television set in the house because we're not usually that stupid, but Mrs Jingogunner has gone to Harry and Grace's to watch it.

  • #2
    Knobbly Knees

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6R4Q8Zwl0S...-minidress.jpg

    She's got knobbly knees.

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    • #3
      Now i live in the commonwealth and i still dont get whats so special about this wedding.
      Sam Rudge
      A 5D3, some Canon lenses, the Sigma L and a flash

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      • #4
        Kate was asking the Queen what the secret was to a long and happy married life after being promoted from commoner to royal wife.

        Her Majesty answered " Wear a seat belt at all times and don't piss me off " !!!

        ....and personally.....I think she's absolutely gorgeous. Then again, I've got knobbly knees as well !!
        If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

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        • #5
          I hit it. And then hit it again.

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          • #6
            Before you say another word, explain the attraction to Camilla P Bowles?

            Live, from a grassy knoll somewhere near you.

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            • #7
              I would have loved to be the master of ceremonies today. Imagine the bishop at Westminster abbey, seconds after both said "Yes, I will" .... with a deep and sonorous voice:
              "Let me tell you one thing, dear Prince William. Now that you're married, I can safely say ... you're in deep shit!"

              But, to the topic, I for one think Kate is a gorgeous lady ... she deserved more luck, than her fresh husband
              My photos on Flickr www.flickr.com/photos/geridominguez

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              • #8
                That stupid wedding?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Simpleboy View Post
                  Now i live in the commonwealth and i still dont get whats so special about this wedding.
                  Possibly you need to travel more beyond your country's borders and see how all of us in the Commonwealth are tied together under our common heritage. I have traveled extensively throughout the world and our British heritage makes us "brothers and sisters" and we really aren't foreigners when we are in each others country.

                  I use to think the monarchy was a waste of money and I didn't care about the Commonwealth, however as I get older and understand my country's history and tradition I am glad I live in a country with a Queen as Head of State and a Parliament.
                  Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is first.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
                    Then again, I've got knobbly knees as well !!
                    You don't have the come up with some evidence, we believe you anyway!

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                    • #11
                      Aston Martin Prince

                      Originally posted by LX-A343 View Post
                      I would have loved to be the master of ceremonies today. Imagine the bishop at Westminster abbey, seconds after both said "Yes, I will" .... with a deep and sonorous voice:
                      "Let me tell you one thing, dear Prince William. Now that you're married, I can safely say ... you're in deep shit!"

                      But, to the topic, I for one think Kate is a gorgeous lady ... she deserved more luck, than her fresh husband
                      Thank you for candidly revealing your attraction to Katherine Middleton's image, Mr LX-A343, I understand how this sort of thing happens, its happened to me often enough. However, one has to bear in mind that the set of injunctions, double-binds and other restrictive features planted since childhood in the mind of William Windsor mean that any marriage he undertakes is virtually as arranged as the most orthodox of Muslim weddings. We can hope that love will develop and blossom, that the fairy tale will become true, much as we know in our heart of hearts, Mr LX A343, that soon our trusty News of the World, Sunday People, Daily Express, The Sun, etc, will dispell our dreams and wishes. Until that time, I will share a tear with you over the unfolding story of a Handsome Prince and Beautiful Princess who Fall In Love on the world media stage.

                      If you had an Aston Martin and a gorgeous red and gold uniform, could you really not do better than Katherine Middleton?

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                      • #12
                        Monarchy and travel

                        Originally posted by ACheck View Post
                        Possibly you need to travel more beyond your country's borders and see how all of us in the Commonwealth are tied together under our common heritage. I have traveled extensively throughout the world and our British heritage makes us "brothers and sisters" and we really aren't foreigners when we are in each others country.

                        I use to think the monarchy was a waste of money and I didn't care about the Commonwealth, however as I get older and understand my country's history and tradition I am glad I live in a country with a Queen as Head of State and a Parliament.
                        Oh I'm not against the Monarchy, Mr ACheck, Thank you so much for offering the prospect of travel as an aid to my education, Mr ACheck, I do appreciate your concern. Of course, I understand that your ideas about multiculturalism and globalism make you feel better, help to explain the world and so forth, but even with all these aids I still find it so confusing and incscrutable, don't you? I'm sure you and I can be brothers, Mr ACheck, although I don't understand why we need the Monarchy to assert our friendship and brotherly love. I would appreciate learning more about how travel and the Royal Family have helped you and how they could help me to understand more about brotherly and sisterly love, Mr ACheck, particularly in relation to the Royal Family which seems not a very loving institution. As I understand it, both William's dad and his uncle have failed in their relationships to their wives and I don't find that a particularly shining example for myself or for the commonwealth.

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                        • #13
                          Stupid Weddings

                          Originally posted by yash777 View Post
                          That stupid wedding?

                          All weddings are stupid, Mr Yash777, everybody knows they aint gonna last.

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                          • #14
                            Slow Thicko

                            Originally posted by Deadstick View Post
                            I hit it. And then hit it again.
                            Hello Mr Deadstick,

                            I'm slow and thick, what did you hit and hit again, and why, please? Your thigh as you convuilsed with mirth? A drunk neighbour? The toga button?

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                            • #15
                              Attraction to Camilla Parker-Bowles?

                              Originally posted by guamainiac View Post
                              Before you say another word, explain the attraction to Camilla P Bowles?

                              Hello Mr Guamaniac,

                              He used to play polo! He was at the last of the cold-shower-cane-on-the -buttocks-prefects-fondling-their-fags* public schools (what you call private schools in the USA). He had, like his son after him and father before him, a very restricted range in what he was allowed to find attractive.The horsey look has for this reason always been popular with Royalty and nobility. The relationship with Diana didn't last because for one thing, she wasn't horsey enough.

                              * fag was the term given to younger boys who had to fetch and carry for the prefects.

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