How to wash a cat....

[brianw999]

How to wash a cat


This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl...


2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.


3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. At this point the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'Power-Wash' and 'Rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

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Yours Sincerely,
The Dog

[guamainiac]

Well not quite like that all the time. Either the kitten my kid gave me for Fathers Day is hiding real well or?

Well it wasn't in the hopper when I opened the lid?

Ya' think?

[brianw999]

Office of National Heath and Safety bulletin.
Health and Safety amendment 00001/040711.

Ensure cat being washed is larger in diameter than hole at base of toilet. If necessary tie cat to seat hinges to prevent unexpected disappearance of cat.

[guamainiac]

I was wondering what the "consult template provided" comment was about.

040711 eh?

[Alessandro]

Put it in a plastic basket, use lukewarm water from the shower and let it dry in the sun.
I had huge problems with woodtics on a cat, a shower every 2 months was the best medicin.

[brianw999]

I was wondering what the "consult template provided" comment was about.

040711 eh?

Todays date . 04/07/2011

[guamainiac]

Well for the control of common ticks on cats I recommend:

1 pint of kerosene

1 disposable razor

1 source of ignition such as a lighter

1 ice pick

Begin by shaving half of the hair on the cat,

[brianw999]

Well for the control of common ticks on cats I recommend:

1 pint of kerosene

1 disposable razor

1 source of ignition such as a lighter

1 ice pick

Begin by shaving half of the hair on the cat,

As a cat lover, I don't wish to know the rest .....

.....but with the ability to visualise.....

Oh dear !!!

[cja]

Brian,
I Know that you are a serious guy and true professional so I tried this on the neighbours cat as it had been digging up our rose bed and its owners get very upset about their prize tabby getting dirty.

Sadly I am now being sued by the water company for the blocked drain the RSPCA for cruelty and who said that even though you are a qualified Paramedic they would be contacting you employer to suggest refresher training. The British plumbing association is suing me for the distress caused to its members involved in the rescue of the cat. But on the upside the my lawyer is very pleased as business has been rather slack recently since BGR Bloomers took all their personal injury business after their national TV campaign. The roses would also like to express their thanks as all the local cats now seem to prefer the other side of the street.

Cheers mate and how are you placed to lend me £50k to pay the legal bills.

[brianw999]

I would love to help Chris but my funds are rather limited since having to move to the Argentinian jungle to escape the hitman hired by The Cats Protection League.