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Some jokes...

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  • Some jokes...

    Condoms don't guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband!
    ------------------------------------
    A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor.
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    Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.
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    A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
    The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
    ------------------------------------------
    In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".
    The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been
    confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mum's.
    ----------------------------------------

    63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.
    It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed..
    The police are blaming AL IKEA .

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    Jonathan Ross has been accused
    of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
    Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo
    with blood pouring from them..
    "Bollocks to that" said Paddy
    "That's the last time I go lion dancing"
    If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !


  • #2
    nice!

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
      Condoms don't guarantee safe sex!
      [...]

      Oh man, you can't imagine how good I feel to be back home at jp, here where all the good things began for me, public enthusiasm for aviation on basis of an intercontinental airport, let it be EGLL, or EDDL.
      I am at my HomeAirport with my father since my yob. So, fatherly friends are VERY important, just as jokes for men.

      Do you feel good? It'll become autumn, I don't wear short shirts that often.
      The German long haul is alive, since more than 60 years.
      The Gold Member in the 747 club, 50 years since the first LH 747.
      And constantly advanced, 744 and 748 /w upper and lower EICAS.
      This is Lohausen International airport speaking, echo delta delta lima.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by TeeVee View Post
        nice!
        These smileys that automatically are provided on the right side of this window... very funny, especially this one

        .
        The automatic doesn't know in which forum section we are right now?!
        "OFF topic", LOL.
        Well, I like your avatar, seems like a Lockheed Tristar?
        The German long haul is alive, since more than 60 years.
        The Gold Member in the 747 club, 50 years since the first LH 747.
        And constantly advanced, 744 and 748 /w upper and lower EICAS.
        This is Lohausen International airport speaking, echo delta delta lima.

        Comment


        • #5
          One thing is for sure LH....

          ....you've confused the shit out of me now !

          If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by brianw999 View Post
            One thing is for sure LH....

            ....you've confused the shit out of me now !

            You can ask HalcyonDays. He knows what I mean.

            And sorry for the confusion, that wasn't my intention.
            The German long haul is alive, since more than 60 years.
            The Gold Member in the 747 club, 50 years since the first LH 747.
            And constantly advanced, 744 and 748 /w upper and lower EICAS.
            This is Lohausen International airport speaking, echo delta delta lima.

            Comment


            • #7
              Brian, do we have a brig or holding cell here at JP? I think a certain party should undergo a little quiet observation.

              I understand HalcyonDays pretty well but ..
              Live, from a grassy knoll somewhere near you.

              Comment


              • #8
                Theres a padded room where we keep Uncle. Would that help?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Brian's dwarf

                  Your joke reminded me of one from my Dad.

                  There was a midget fortune teller who was suspected of engaging in fraud, bilking clients of a substantial sum of money before skipping town.

                  Police are seeking ... a small medium at large!
                  Live, from a grassy knoll somewhere near you.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    SYDCBRWOD, we have to be very quiet, he's said to have given the slip to more than one net. Just act natural like nothing's going on.
                    Live, from a grassy knoll somewhere near you.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      While undergoing a building re-design my local police station had all the new toilet pans stolen.

                      The police say they have nothing to go on !
                      If it 'ain't broken........ Don't try to mend it !

                      Comment

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