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Could someone from Germany explain this?

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  • Could someone from Germany explain this?

    This isn't meant to offend any of our German friends, but I have encountered this in Germany myself and often wondered the reasoning behind it.

    http://www.spies.com/~scott/misc/toilet.htm (click on link to see pics)

    German Toilets

    Whenever folks who have lived or traveled in Germany gather for a beer, sooner or later one subject is sure to rear its ugly head: what is the deal with those toilets?

    German toilets are quite extraordinary. Other European toilets - well, the ones that aren't merely holes in the floor - work much like their North American cousins. They are shaped a little differently, but the basic principle is the same: the excrement either lands directly in the water or it slides down a steep slope into the water, before being flushed away. Simple, effective and clean. See?

    Normal Toilet



    Not so the German toilet. The excrement lands on a bone-dry horizontal shelf, mere inches beneath one's posterior. Repeated flushings are required to slide the ordure off the shelf into a small water-filled hole, from which it hopefully disappears. See?

    German Toilet



    I do not understand the purpose of this toilet. It does not save water - you must flush it eight or ten times to remove every last scrape and smear. It is not hygienic - the smell is ungodly. The only conceivable explanation is that Germans love to inspect their stool, so the German toilet of necessity features a built-in stool inspection shelf. I wouldn't be surprised if the more expensive models include a digital scale: "Mein Gott, zwei kilogram!" exclaims Günter, joyful and relieved.

    Further research has revealed that the German toilet is in fact designed to facilitate stool examination. This is a wise, healthy practice, argue Germans, a person's best defence against intestinal disease, water-borne parasites or worm-riddled, undercooked pork sausage. While this made perfectly good sense around 1900, thanks to improvements in public health the whole shelf business should have become obsolete shortly after World War II.

    Germans, however, see nothing amiss. They actually like their toilets. Some even dislike North American toilets. You splash yourself, they claim. I don't think this is possible. I've never splashed myself sitting on the toilet. For the wave to reach one's bottom, one would need to eject a hefty pellet at tremendous velocity. I think they're making that up.

    We've had innumerable bad experiences with German toilets. In Berlin, we lived on an upper floor and the water pressure was too weak to push a healthy-sized log off the shelf. After a few minutes' fruitless flushing you'd be forced to grab a wad of toilet paper and give the horrid thing an encouraging nudge. Then followed a lengthy bout of brushing and cleaning to remove the skid marks from the porcelain. At the other extreme, in Munich we lived in a basement suite where the water pressure was too high. Worse, the shelf was actually slightly concave, forming a shallow bowl. The first time I flushed the toilet the water came rushing through so forcefully that a small chunk of poo launched off the lip and shot out over the floor. After that we always held the lid down when we flushed. I swore you could feel a kick as the turd ricoched off the underside.

    The German toilet's shortcomings are not limited exclusively to Number Twos. It is almost impossible for males to urinate while standing without soaking the bathroom. Urine sprays everywhere. There is a technique, but is tricky and requires a certain degree of penile agility: bestride the toilet and direct the stream vertically down into the hole at the front of the shelf. If you are sufficiently flexible and accurate, it's relatively clean, though it makes one hell of a noise.

    The alternative, of course, is to pee sitting down - the dreaded Sitzpinkel. Herein lies the source of much gender conflict, for German women have become increasingly militant in their efforts to encourage or enforce the Sitzpinkel Rule. It's not uncommon to see little stickers on the underside of toilet lids, reminders to less civilized males that they really need to embrace their feminine side and sit the hell down.

    An American friend was once at a party where, on his way to the bathroom, he was accosted by the hostess who demanded loudly in front of the other guests that he not pee standing up. The male counter-reaction has been predictably lame, only a few sad jokes here and there. Me, I've made promises, I've tried to be good, but somehow the instinct not to Sitzpinkel runs very deep. I just try not to spray.

  • #2
    The only conceivable explanation is that Germans love to inspect their stool, so the German toilet of necessity features a built-in stool inspection shelf.
    That pretty much sums it up. It might also have to do with "traditions" that people don't want to "lose". But don't you ask me how that could be a "loss"!

    It is not hygienic - the smell is ungodly.
    Which is why these things can't be found at my place.

    It's not uncommon to see little stickers on the underside of toilet lids, reminders to less civilized males that they really need to embrace their feminine side and sit the hell down.
    ROFL! Oh darn, I know those way too well!

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    • #3
      Originally posted by kaddyuk
      lmao, I have never noticed this but if its on the internet it MUST be true :P
      Not saying that this is the reason, but it is true! For the record, I hate those toilets - the stink is aweful, and you have to take care of the "skid marks". Eeeewwwww... not good!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by iceman
        "Mein Gott, zwei kilogram!" exclaims Günter, joyful and relieved.

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        • #5
          They are terrible. Germany is the only place I have seen them as well. Really curious as to why myself.

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          • #6
            One thing i'd like to know, how the hell would you plunge that thing??? I'd like to see what their plungers look like.

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            • #7
              Re: Could someone from Germany explain this?

              Originally posted by iceman
              Germans love to inspect their stool
              HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

              Beautiful!!!!

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              • #8
                Most bizarre thread of all time!

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                • #9
                  Actually, I just come from my bathroom here in Holland and it has the same German system! Strange, isn't it?

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                  • #10
                    Hi.
                    I never noticed that we Germans are the only ones using those toilets. But at the moment many toilets are like the other ones in the world. Just the old ones have this system. I think you wouldn't find new one with such a sytem you don't like. But I like the old one more and many of my friends too. Can't remember which toilet I had at Tenerife, but think it was a "german" one....
                    Hope I could explain it to you.
                    Anyway a very interesting topic. Let's wait for other Germans giving their sh**/opinion.
                    Bye, Georg.
                    ________
                    ALOTSQUIRTX
                    Last edited by DRS-Spotter; 2011-09-16, 06:02.

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                    • #11
                      Most Central Europen Toilet Work that way, and belive me for a German are Your American Toilets are also very "Strange".

                      Always remmber my first time use of US Toilet just sat down without to Look and hear a "Splash"

                      Serious Answer

                      Save Water it just need 4 Liter for a Flush
                      Freundliche Grüße / Best Regards / Atentos saludos / Meilleures salutations

                      Michael Bogensperger
                      ==================================================

                      Airlinerpictures.net



                      My Photos at Jetphotos.net

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Bogi
                        Serious Answer

                        Save Water it just need 4 Liter for a Flush
                        How can it save water if you have to flush it 5 times to get the piece of crap down?

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                        • #13
                          Toilets in the U.S. now are required to use 1.5 liters or less per flush. And they usually always get it done the first time.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by JeffinDEN
                            Toilets in the U.S. now are required to use 1.5 liters or less per flush.
                            How in hell do you know that unuseful-at-all information, Jeff?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Cubana
                              How in hell do you know that unuseful-at-all information, Jeff?
                              It says it right on most toilets.

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